Chasing Sunsets: How Ballet Dancer Remi Okamoto Connects with Nature, Travels to Find Inspiration and Creates Movement from Emotion

0:14 I'm very excited to introduce you to Remy Okamoto, who is a dancer originally from Kyoto, Japan, if I have that correct, yes. And now, funny enough, we are both in Charlotte, but in opposite parts of town. I didn't even know that, but I'm so excited to have you be part of the show. Thank you for joining me. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to talk with you. So you've been travelling and working? Yeah. Like where have you been this summer? So this summer I went back home in Japan. Yeah, I had to renew my visa. And you know, all this paperworks is always takes time and especially now with the all immigration things, I kind of had to take this time to yeah, like go home and dancer job has like summer off quite long time, especially in the US we have close to two months of vacation. So I had enough time to back home and it was after two years, I didn't go back last year.

1:29 So yeah, there was a lot of people to catch up, family, friends. And I traveled in Japan also, which I normally don't have a time or I'm not so interesting. Like I love travelling, but I've been always looking outside of Japan and I go different countries. And this time I took some time to traveled in my country, which was really, really good. Like I what did you go? See. I went to a little bit north of Japan. I don't know if everyone knows the Japanese Geo like the map, but in the northern island is called Hokkaido. And I didn't go that far, but it just below there is a region called Tohoku and there's a couple of like prefectures there.

2:24 And I just went like 2 weeks to go each prefectures like train, used train and bus and went different island different like mountain nature, small village, like stay in guest house. Like I just I love like travelling solo and discover. So yeah, I went to, I went to like Yamagata, Miyagi. You want the Almodi like all those like prefectures there. Does it like recharge you like help you recharge physically? Yes, I think this is something also keep me up to dancing.

3:08 I think like I love being nature and that's also like part of my, I think artistic part, kind of how I can say like broom, like I feel more free, more myself when I'm in the nature. I don't have to be alone, but when I'm alone and I connect to the, I don't know, nature like ours, like a sun wind, like I think those it's kind of difficult to keep it up. Those things when I'm walking or when I'm having some project just in front of me. But when we are in the vacation, I try to take time to reconnect those outside of like work or outside of like people. And that's, I think refresh my artistic part, I think, so I can like.

4:08 I do the same. Like, when you're in nature, do you like, feel like I call? Like I reach out into it and bring it in me, right? Do you do the same thing? Like, yeah. I do. I do really feel like this way. I I think it's not, I'm not that when I'm with people, when I'm walking, but I think when I'm just like, I feel I'm just me. Like I'm just like, it's not, I'm not that dancer. I'm not like I don't have any level on myself. I just there and all those sounds or can be animals, insects, plants, like every energy that I can kind of take, absorb and yeah like I feel like I have more, I don't know, different like feelings I.

4:59 Get it? I get it. I'm the same. I think as a like as a dancer, even though you're professional and I am recreational, there is something about it that we feel in our body, right? Like we feel music and sound and energy in our body. And then when we could take it, we can then like share it, right? Like we can then express it especially for you in a studio, day in, day out or performing, right? You're in a box, you're so disconnected from all of that. And then you have to pull from inside to then perform, right. Yeah. OK. That that excites me that you do that. You're like, I like that.

5:40 So. But I want to start a little bit at your beginning because you've studied since you were quite young as what made you choose ballet or or did your mother or family just go go to class? So yeah, it's, it's like even now, and I think it's kind of funny, but I was five years old, I was in the kindergarten and in Japan, like we, I mean maybe everywhere in the other country also, but we have like 1 like eerie performance kind of things. And I had to do with my classmates, like some Japanese booyo, like it's called like Nihon Bouyo. It's a Japanese dance with like, kind of kimono and with the fan.

6:24 And I was like, it was, yeah, it was fine. But one year older than us, they were performing a ballet because some of the girl was learning a ballet already. Then I had the opportunity to see the performance and I just like felt like I want to do this. So I apparently told my mom to, to start to, I want to do this. And then she kind of figured out where she can take me to learn Barrett because it was not her. It, it, it was not the culture for my family. Like my my mom was always in the art. Like she paints, she design, she likes to do that, but never for dancing or ballet or like those words. So like I think for her was like, OK, like she said she wanted to do so like Hawaii notes. So yeah, that was the third.

7:20 Like I start going to ballet school like, but in Japan it's very small. It's not like like when I went to Europe it I was like, wow, like European Barrett culture is a little bit more strong. And I think in here also a little bit more that you can go like quite big Barrett school and there is a many big Barrett school and maybe very small, like you have Barrett very close to you. But when I was in Japan, it was like I was going normal elementary school. Like you'd study from morning to the afternoon and then you have some sports program and then you go back class. So it was just like hour or two hours like once or twice a week. That was the beginning.

8:13 And then I just liked it. I think I just enjoyed it and I was like very active kids, like I wanted to try anything and my mom let me do it. So I did many sports. I was running like I was doing basketball, like I was doing a lot of things, but but I was always there at least once or twice a week that keep me like I don't know, like I just I just like it. I think to having this dancing part in my life. Yeah, I get it. I get it. I was when I was, I get it when I was young, like even younger than you.

8:56 When I started, I started. My mom put me in ballet because I was very pigeon toed. That means like my feet turn in. So the doctor said put her in ballet, but your feet turn in from your hips. So even though I learned to twist my feet, my knees would always, you know, because physically I couldn't. I got yelled at all the time. I was like, it's like my body. I can't change it. But I had my first ballet teacher was a Russian. She's being she had a stick. She's like boom, boom. But I did volleyball. I did like others tennis. I did other sports too. I think there, I think there's just a need for for bodies to move. I think when I was young, the the idea of what a ballerina looked like, like did you have those pink leotards there too?

9:44 Was it the? Yeah, yeah, and, and pink tights and yeah, like ribbons and yeah. Which isn't my personality at all. I think that's probably why. No, my, I think my ballet teacher yelled at me to tuck my bottom in right, tuck that in. I was like, it's not going anywhere. Like that's as tucked as I so I never felt like I looked like a ballerina. And then my teacher, like when I was young, my parents sent me to summer camp. So that means that I would go to I went up to Maine and it I would just be outside with girls doing sports and activities. And even though I was dancing even then three to five days a week, my a ballet teacher punished me and wouldn't let me go on point because I left for the summer. So I think I told this story before, but a few years ago I was like, I am old enough to buy my own damp point shoes and I went to a store and I bought some and you know what this woman can still do?

10:50 And I never took a class. I just went right up. I was like, I could have totally, I could have totally done it. I don't know why she would have told someone who wanted it. No, it's like such a crazy thing. But are were there standards like in like in Japan, like where you started and then when you went to Europe to study as well, right? Like were the standards of dance and technique different or were they similar? I think the I was learning much more technical things when I was younger in Japan and when I went to Germany, that was my ballet school was and the my same age girls were still doing more basic things, which was interesting like, but I understand because the country or like the country, they really teach basic.

11:48 I think it's because the ballet's culture in their life, like it's something very close to kind of everyone else. Like ballet in Japan is something came from Europe or United States or outside. So we were like, try to copy, try to teach kids. And you know, in general, Japanese kids are quite like strict. They, they go practice. They do. So some of them are very technical. They get pirouette, they get high legs easy. They can jump. So the teachers teach a lot of technical things when they are younger and when I went to Germany and some of the kids don't know how to some technical things and like but the same time I didn't feel I was better than them because they had such a good base in their body.

12:45 Like all turn out all the how to use the feet, how to place your hip or the shoulder, like all those things. And my teacher was from Russia also and from Guanganoa and in Japan of it's interesting that my teacher was teaching more French methods like from France way. So the the way I had to move my body was different, like really strong turn out like you need to really like I needed to force myself to turn out. And your hip should be square when you bring like to the back like in the arabesque, like I was cheating when I was in Japan.

13:32 Like I can bring like you know you when your body. I do. I know exactly what you're saying. That is going to be part of my next questions is like how your foot moves Because as someone who loves dance, when I watch performance, I am looking at all of that and I and I'm not in a mean way, not in a mean way, because there are some people who perform that you can't take your eyes off of, right? There's that's the dance is coming from the inside out and they might not have the best arch foot, right, like or good feet or whatever, but you don't care. You can't stop. But then there are some people that I can see counting like they're nervous. I can see in their mind they're like and, and, and and like I can, I'm like, turn your brain off. Just get into it.

14:22 And then I can also tell the difference in like when you were describing it, like I could see, imagine the foot brushing up against the floor, right? And then the toe, the arch, the heel, like just like how that was drilled into me in my Russian hard old ballet slippers, right? Like they're like, no, I was like, I don't, I'm like 7. What like I'm trying really hard. But like, I think you could see that in different in different performances in different people when they're doing that. But the square hip, please. I get that one too. It's it's just like I was like how? And she was like, don't let me make high leg, like don't don't do like just put in the square. Like she come and she fix and it's just like like, wow, like I was already like 17.

15:13 So like, you know, like maybe how I build the base was not the best, but I already had some base and from there I needed to really change or like, and I think it's a lot way of thinking also and how teacher, I think my Japanese teacher was saying the same things actually. Like it's not like she was saying something very different, but how she delivered or how she was committed in one one correction was a little bit different. And I think yeah, the that teacher was very strict, but she was really beautiful. The answer like she, she was older, but her legs and how she showed I was just like, I need to learn the coral, coral combinations. I was just looking at her like how her feet, how her knee walks.

16:05 I was just like she. She's like, so beautiful. I love it like when when I figured out like when they were like use your core more, use your core more. I was like, Oh my. But it really is when you pull up from inside, then your leg is going better. But still my extension was not exciting. So when I can see ballerinas like just go and always, of course, making it look effortless, which is insane because it's so much work. I think that's spectacular. So like what what about the look of a dancer nowadays? Like I think dancers have a wider range of like body types.

16:48 Even when I was younger, ballerinas were so thin, right? They were like a lot of them smoked. I don't know if they still do, but they to not eat right between they would smoke a lot. I was like, I don't know how you cardio and dance for that long and then you're outside chain smoking so you don't eat. Does that still exist or is there more space for like thighs? Because I think you like Maude. How do you say her last name? So Sorbin the dancer, Maude Sorbin. Is that how you say her? Name. Yeah, I think yes, it's a French pronouncing, so I don't know.

17:28 Yes, yeah, but. Her body is muscular, she is not super what I would consider feminine on stage, but you can't take your eyes off of her. So is there more space now for different kinds of female like dancers and ballerinas do you think? I think so and I think that's a good, good direction that we are going. When I was younger, I, I also I wasn't thin like I did all the sports. I loved exercise, like going like I, I was like practicing with the boys and so like I never I like thin, thin, but my body teacher was always like, you need to get skinnier. You need to get like that was always there and but you know, when you were young, you just like hear that and you don't really think.

18:27 But once I decided to choose continue dancing more than other sports, I was like, OK, like this is something that I need to maybe face on it. So I kind of changed my diet, what I eat, and I actually got really skinny that moment, which I never smoked in my life. I never stopped eating. But the food you eat or like exercise you do changed my body. And I was very skinny when I was in Germany. But then in Germany they told me that you are too skinny to put on you on stage. Like you don't look like healthy. And I when in Japan, I was the beautiful body shape and when I went there because I think their way of thinking is already forward that like the even dancers have to look normal, like look not like skinny, skinny. So there was a moment that like I also had like, OK, so like how what I have to look like, right?

19:35 And then, but after like going through like different country, different company, I met many different type of dancers. And also depends on like if you were doing classical ballet, if you are doing a little bit more contemporary work now, classical work, I think what you need, how much strain you need to all those dance a little bit different, trainings are a little bit different also. And like, I'm now toured to more contemporary work. Like I perform a little bit more contemporary dance that. You need certain strain for muscles and even partnering is not just like women is like lifting up. You actually have to maybe lift boys or need to grab something. So and then like I met many stronger dancers too. Like it's it's not like if you are skinny, you cannot dance. No, I think these are a lot of beautiful dancers that they are such a like so skinny, but like it's not mean that they don't have any muscle.

20:40 They have a like minimum of muscles, but they use 100% those muscles to move and has a stamina. This is always my like objective goal. Like I always what's the best shape for me. And I think this time everyone is thinking if you're fit enough to move your body 100%, you feel good, you are not weak, you feel energetic, you feel like good, then that's the body you should be as a dancer, even as a dancer.

21:22 And I think most of professional dancer that I know, of course depends on the company and some of the like a bigger company doing classical things all the time, probably they have a little bit more competitions between and there's a little bit more things like that. But I haven't been that type of company. And wherever I I've been in, especially here, I think everyone tried to feel that good. And if you know, like, I think I have a day that's like maybe I eat a little bit more next day. I feel it in my body, like I feel I I don't feel the best.

22:05 And this is something that also like if you continue dancing longer time, you find find in yourself that it's not about you have to be skinny or you have to be dad like you, you have to look like that. But you need to feel good to jump. You need to feel good to move fast, right. So I think that's the nowadays they care more than you look like or you should look like with everyone the same. I think nowadays it's day care a little bit more that side I think and I like. In a ballet company, like a traditional ballet company, like when I like more modern pieces or one of my I saw Dracula years ago done by a ballet company and I loved it so much.

23:00 I saw multiple performances. So I got to see the cast like change roles, right? And like for me, there was just this one pose when even the male lead was average height. He wasn't very tall, but how he leaned like in, I just just like how he I'm in a chair and I can't do it and all I want to do is like this, how he like like basically enveloped this other dancer who when she was on point was taller than him. I loved it. I loved it even more because they made me erase all of the bullshit, right?

23:44 Like like because when I was growing up, you had to be you had to be that skinny. And I know sometimes even when I watch if someone is in a classical ballet, if they're one person stands out, they stand out because of weight. I don't like that. I was like, there needs to be like a range that makes sense when you're looking at it visually, right? Because you're a company. People don't come at me for the saying I'm saying horrible things. I'm not. I'm just saying when you're looking, if you go to Swan Lake or you go to even like The Nutcracker and everyone is like, I'm doing the hands, right? I'm like everyone's lined up and one person look, yeah, see like, you know, we all know it, right. So if if one person is so not in the thing, it also takes away for the performance. So there is a part of the art that is you're it you're using your body.

24:33 So your body has to be a specific way. I just love that when I do see other shows, there is more. There's just more there to see. So I feel like if I was younger, I might have or I could have, or I could have kept going. Do you know? Like it's just living the dream inside. I'm curious like what is the biggest company that you have danced with that you're comfortable talking about? Like I danced with. Or that you studied. I mean, I I've been like different place and anywhere is not the big big company.

25:16 Like anywhere was like Charlotte Barrett, like here that I'm working with. It's I think middle size company in the United States. It's not the biggest, of course not. But we have some dancers that like, I would say like very talented dancers are here, which like the size of the company is maybe not the big, but I'm getting everyday like so inspired from them, which like for me, it's like those that's companies something that for me is a big, big things. But maybe that's size wise.

25:57 I was in Poland, Brotsworth, it's a city close to Germany. It's West side of Poland. That was my first contract and that company was bigger and we were doing more crasker things like we had the people to do crasker things like Swan Lake, don't don't shoot Nutcracker. Like all all those like Rome and Juliet, like all big cold barred stuff. We were doing it. You danced in Bulgaria too, I saw. Yeah, I love that.

26:38 Yeah. It's just yeah, like my journey was really random. I would just say like, I didn't plan this in my life. I want to know how you jump like, like, was it someone's like come here or were you like, I want to go there or like, what was the thought? So when I was in Germany, of course like to getting my first contract, I was yeah. So I quit my high school. So when I left Japan, I took a break from high school and it was 2 year. That was a limit. I had like 2 year. I can have a break, but if you don't like, if you don't come back, then you're you quit the high school or if you don't find anything, you will back to study again. So when I was in second year in Germany, I was like, I need to find a job to continue to be in Europe, to not back to study, you know.

27:35 So I did a lot of audition, like I send the CV everywhere and I went to some auditions, but only one contract that I got was important. So that's why I went and I was there three years and the third year they were already giving me like a life contract. It's like, yeah, like it was very interesting, but it's like a lifetime contract. And of course there is a good benefit today's things that you can do better, but the same time it's going to get difficult to quit or difficult to change. And as this was my first company, I felt I wanted to change a little bit more.

28:20 I want to see a little bit more different place, wanted to work with different choreographers, director, dancers. So that year I did auditions and only one contract that I got was in Bulgaria, which which is like I always kind of this way to moving and Bulgaria like, you know, in Japan there is a one yogurt called Bulgaria yogurt. And I just know only this about Bulgaria. There was nothing that I know about Bulgaria, the country like I, I feel I'm shame for this, but but I was like, I don't. Think many Americans know about Bulgaria. You just have landed in places, right? So, you know, I like also love Korea. So my friend is Bulgarian and my other friend is Poland, Polish in Warsaw, like we met in Korea.

29:11 So I think it's funny that you have danced in all these cities that I met people while I was travelling. So I just I think that's like a beautiful like ribbon of connection that we never knew, right? I think that's cool. Yeah, that's true. And the Bulgaria was that year specific day or in the European capital culture, the city is called profitive. It's a not Sofia, but it's a profitive. And so the that year there was a lot of artists coming to that city. That was also big experience for me. Like it was not just a dance, but there was a lot of musician, a lot of art artworks was in the city. So the yes, the Bulgaria, I didn't know, but it was really like art for like it was there, a lot of art was there and I met so many international dancer because of that. Like in Bulgaria, like I think that company was only Bulgarians and there was not so many shows happening before. But because of this European capital culture, they hired a lot of international dancer from really everywhere, like from Brazil, Mexico, Argentina and then some of the Japanese, some of Europeans, but also like different countries. So I got to meet very like diversity of dancers and like we danced performed in like ancient theater. Like it's like outside, like

30:45 ancient. So like there was a lot of like unique experience that I could gain in that time and what? Language. Does the choreographer speak if everyone is from all over the world? Or do you just watch and then learn by that and not by language? Yeah. So the yeah, I think in Bulgaria, they were, some of them are really trying hard to speak English, very like, you know, like difficult for them, but they were like trying to speak English. Some of the things were Bulgarian, but because I was in Poland, I learned Polish a little bit and Bulgarian Polish, there is like a little similarity that I could kind of guess or like communicate with and yeah. And dancing in the words I love dancing is a part of this is like even I've been different country that Barre word is French, right?

31:50 Like all the positions are in French. Yeah, yeah. So even in Japan I was using French, like French. It was very Japanese, French, you know, and. It's still better than my French, I'm sure, I'm sure. Wherever you go, like you, you kind of know the class or like the position wise you kind of get and only thing the correction, you know like straight to your knee or like shoulder down or look there. Like of course those things are in the beginning like what's they are saying, but then they will repeat the corrections. You kind of understand. So like being in the studio is actually is not that big problem.

32:34 You kind of catch the oh, like even you don't know the grammatically or you don't know the word exactly, but you can understand how they tell you and how much they repeat you. Yeah. So in the end, like after some time you kind of like understand the things, most of the things. Yeah, I think that like I was. I travelled to Brazil once and drummers came and it wasn't carnival but the dramas. And I've also studied African dance. So like I knew rhythm similar. So when they started doing some moves, even though I knew them different, right?

33:15 Because I learned W African style from at that point, Cameroon and then later on from Guinea, but it was similar. So I was on a yoga retreat. So everyone is very peaceful. And then these drums come out and then I'm going literally wild cuz I'm just like, I just can't, right? They're like, we did not know. And I danced to my feet cuz I was barefoot. Obviously the blisters, everyone's like you're out of control. I was like, I don't know how to explain to people you do not feel the pain while you dance, right? You don't feel the do you feel your pain And then the minute you're off stage or done, I can't move. I cannot move. I'm like Advil blisters, bleeding. I don't.

33:56 Do you experience that too? Like, does that happen? Do you have pretty feet or do you have ballet feet? It's a look terrible. That's a problem like, and it's not just a feat. It's like my niece Bruce everywhere. Yeah, don't tell anyone. Don't tell anyone. They'll never do it. But it's cuz I was also wanted to ask you because as a young girl, Ray, I danced too. You danced as a young girl. But in ballet classes, there's usually not many. Where I was not many men, there were no men. There was 1 little boy, he was a boy when I was like an older girl, like when I was like 17, he maybe was 8, right? I'm not, that's just weird. So I never knew what it was like to dance with a man. So when I go and watch, especially classical ballet, how is the transition from dancing with all girls to like learning to partner?

34:54 Because that that takes a whole other skill. It is, yeah. I also like in Japan we have maybe only one boy also. And when you have like a big performance, they hire some guest dancer and you can so you can be like junior high school student. But school we we school was hiring the some professional, professional dancers, which they already know how to support you, how to help you. Not they are, they are not boys, they are not kids. They are already there adult dancers. So I had already like 1 experience doing like Swan Lake Padu with the male dancer that he already was dancing a long time.

35:49 So that's that's definitely helped. Even I didn't have any skill for like doing partnering. And then when I was in Germany, there was also not so many boys, but there was a couple boys. We are like rotating and we had this paddle do class that the male teacher teaching. So it was not like I had zero to getting in the professional to like partner with the men. But yeah, differently. And each partner, each person is different. And especially, of course, when you do classical things like girls have to be also very strong to keep your body up so they can support you. Not like you are not leaning all the time, right? Like you, you need to hold, hold you up. And that was like another skill I needed to really like even lifting like you cannot be just not doing nothing, like you need to kind of pull yourself up.

36:47 And those feeling was difficult for me to really like understand. And now doing contemporary like partnering work, sometimes you need to ruin it. Like you cannot hold yourself. Sometimes you have to give the weight to the that's makes move smoother or that like all like energy, like weight balance is a really completely different and also each partner has a different way to like way to give that feeling. So I'm still learning. It's not something that I learned and like I'm perfect.

37:29 Like I'm every day. It's a learning process. And every time when I have a new partner, I'm like, try to understand, OK, Oh, how how we can match our body, how we can like connect smoothly. It's it's never like I felt from beginning like OK, like oh I it's easy. No like it's always like learning process. Yeah, in your piece the The Walking mad, right, it's you. First of all, this, the setting and stage is basically 2 walls. And there's also a quite a lot of no music, right? Like, yeah, silent except for you, everyone, we'll put a link like in the comments so you can watch it too, but it's on YouTube. But like I think for me in watching that all I think is like it's you are carrying it.

38:22 It's like a right. It's your solo for a lot of it. And then you have all of these men coming in and that partner work. It really depicts the leaning in and that is a level of trust. I like I, I don't know what that is. I don't honestly, I was watching and I was like, no, he's like, like, and they shake the wall on purpose too. And right, like when they're, I'm like, no, no, like, like I would, I would be like your mother in the audience be like, if they hurt her, I'm going to be so upset. And then you also like climb and jump up on the wall And I'm, I'm thinking, how many blisters does she have on her hand from that? Like, did you?

39:03 What was that like? Like how, how was learning that piece piece like? I would love to know what that was like for you. So The Walking mutt was something I really, yeah, it was a big, big piece in my life. I think like this is this is that was my part. Only this in the video. But if you search in YouTube walking mutt is very famous piece like a lot of companies performing. So you can get to see a little bit different different part of it. But that's we call this section like a brief section and the in the beginning, like the person we had a two stage here, like the person that's make give us choreography because it was already the made long time ago. So we just learned the IT was not a creation, right? And we got first person.

39:58 The he was he teaches. So I would say like Gentry, like he teach every like steps very like this is this, this is this. And to learn how to connect, how to move, how to. But it was very like clean. When the first person came and then after there was another things we were rehearsing and we got another person from France that he teach us that you should use your more like gravity, your body weight, you take your risk and also like dance from your heart, not the movement from the outside of movement like so this person really taught us and he gave us class also and the each class was not the movement and not the exercise. It was more about how to how to feel your inner body and what makes you move, not the choreography moves you. So that process helped us to get there. Definitely.

41:25 And I think the first part that when it's silence, he was like, of course there's a like, like you cannot take forever time. Of course it's like it's boring, you know, but like you should be real there. Like you should have your own story and the peace doesn't have a big story, but there is a message and there is a each each person, like each person has some journey through the dance, right? And I think he was he didn't really tell me you should think this way, but you have you are in this situation and you need to be true with yourself. Like you are you sad?

42:09 Are you angry? Are you frustrating? Are you strong? Like all those things that I had to really build and but build, I cannot build just from outside to perform like I needed to really feel it in the moment. So but that's definitely like it was very challenging piece and it was very physical. So like the stamina and also like, you know, all the like it's literally very strong. Like the sound is because of the wall, like wall give quite a sound. But they are really of course it's not like pushing so strongly, but they are using all this like energy or like momentum to do it.

42:56 So it's pretty much real. Like it's not they are not doing anything softer because otherwise you don't see the real. So yeah, sometimes I bump to the person, sometimes I couldn't like go up or yeah, there was a lot of risk there. But of course we practiced a lot. We learn a lot of times we understand it step by step, like how I want to give you the energy so that momentum, how much he can use it. Not like I'm I'm there and he needs to move.

43:38 It's like, it's like a lot of movement comes from me to him, right? Yeah. So I think if someone's not a dancer and just listening and they can't see us weighing moving our body or you haven't watched their face, I think it's like fascinating to think about. You start on stage and you're basically wedged between you're in a corner, right? That's a good way to put it. And you're hunched over and it's, it's very introverted, almost dark isn't really the right word, but you can tell there's a, there's a feeling. So whatever you are feeling or experiencing that day as the audience, whatever, maybe grief or pain or whatever, it's easy to identify with you right on stage in that moment. And maybe you can get emotional honestly, because you are expressing something that I'm keeping in the dark, right? Like I love that about it.

44:35 And then like you're trying, I wouldn't say trying to escape because you're going up these walls, but you're letting it out in different ways. And then we'll call it you encounter other people, other men come out and one of my favorite lifts was like you're kind of passed between the the taller man to the shorter guy on your. That was like whoever worked with that was a good night of that. And I was like, that was so well done because it was seamless and smooth. And like them, the motion never stopped, dude. Right. Like you were like, so I know sometimes in a dance, like you stop and you're doing it on purpose. Like you had a lot of like, I'm jerking. You can't see that on. But if you're not right, you're like, you have a lot of moments where you're contracting. Oh, I really studied it.

45:19 You're like, oh, she really watched it a lot. I was like, yeah, because when I watch a good dance, I want to, I want to move with you. I think that's what I love about watching a performance is like in my seat when I bring my teenager. She hates it because I'm like, I'm moving right when I saw Hamilton and we're like, I'm like, I am learning the choreographer because it's the same move a bunch of times. And my brain is like, oh, turn right, left knee up, down. Like I'm like, let me do it. Let me get up there and like try. I don't think I'm as good. But there is that other level of connection with dance because it's music and sound and movement and you can identify with the person on stage or wish you could be that person on stage and they can do those things that so many people can't.

46:07 I just think that kind of storytelling is it's like obviously one-of-a-kind. I think also I would love to know for you what it's like to have a big set because I know you've danced Nutcracker. It's like something like The Nutcracker where it's a big production and a big set versus that other one where it's two walls. Like does it affect like how you show up on stage? Yeah, I think it like Nutcracker or like old classical things are like just like quite in the outside you need to I think you need to own the space. I mean in the both way also.

46:51 But like you have like this amount of space that you kind of need to feel it or you you are on the space like very you need to be specific. Like if you are dancing in the big space in the corner, then why you are dancing in the corner? But when you have like sunset that's close to you or then and the most of the time those times you are using the the wall or door or whatever is part of your scene. Of course, when it's a bigger one, yes, it's a picture wise yes, but the movement is not technically connecting to the scenography.

47:34 But when you have something very close or like chair or something, you definitely need to use and like see kind of like outside, like how does it look with like my dance and with this object? And I think definitely I'm I'm not like calculating in that moment, no, but definitely it should have some good effect for the piece. And that's another learning process that we we also really take. And most of the time it's with the lights and like with the distance, with other things. So yeah, I think when we have like smaller things, we have a lot of practice to use them as a part of the dancing and you feel like. So when you say a lot of practice, how many weeks do you actually get before a performance when you're learning something?

48:30 It's really depends. But for example, now we our show will be end of October and we started season like end of August and we technically have like 2 months and we are preparing 3 different pieces. So yeah, it's maybe some of them have a month to maybe a little bit even more more than month. But then we were like doing three different things doing at the same time. So in that Nutcracker, of course, it's a new every year. Maybe we have a new dancer, a new role, yes, but the base is kind of same. We just run the choreography and like, you know, like Kraska, but like what I like contemporary. It's maybe connecting to this topic, but the Kraska, but is there like the how it it should look like is there already right like you're you do Arabic standard. It has to look like this, everyone. Has to look like yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how I.

49:33 Feel when I watch it, I was like, I should like it more, but I'm like they're so restricted. I know some people love that and it's beautiful, but I like when they it's a little, I don't know, different. Yeah, like I think I love. Watching Kraskeberry and I still so much respect on who is keeping in the top like a principal dancer for long time, even their their late 30s or like 40s like because the Kraskeberry to be that perfection for me, it's I'm still chasing it, but it's like a long way and I still enjoy dancing them. But I see more potential possibility in contemporary dance because you can be a little bit different. You can be a individual, you can maybe you're doing same movement, but everyone look different and which also good, you know, and that's another thing that I like about contemporary that I could be more myself. I could be like like me dancing notes, even I have a role. I feel like I have more artistic choices that I can make than in Kresker.

50:59 But of course, the best dancers or like some of my favorite dancers, they are doing those things in the in the books, like they need to be in this position in in this pornography. But they have their artistic part that shines and I love watching them. But to do both in classical body is I find really hard because I'm still struggling to just do all the steps and all the turns. You know the one thing that was so weird? That for me, when I first started watching more, not classical ballets, was that that when women's hair came down, I know that sounds very strange, but when I grew up, you had to have your hair in the bun, right? Like no ponytail.

51:45 It had to be tight and pulled back. And when women got the freedom to have their hair down, I was like, like, what is that? Isn't that in the way? Is that right? Like it was such a strange thing that I was conditioned. That that is ballet. Just like the pink and the this and the that, but it was one of the hair. So part of what I like about the movement of more contemporary is like that extension and you have no control over what your hair is doing. I don't know. It's like this wild element of unknown, but the classical there it is true. Like again, like when I grew up, it was very much Mikhail. It was Burgiticoff, right? His turns and he was like the standard of what a man should be.

52:32 I mean, he was remarkable and his effortlessness. And I think like, I grew up hearing like, how quiet he was when he landed, right? Like, people don't talk about like, they don't understand. It's like sometimes they go to a ballet and if I hear toes, if I hear too many toes on the ground, I'm like, they're so loud because I got screamed at for like, you know, having to be quiet while dancing, which is I don't know that people who aren't dancers don't know that when you do a leap first, like especially in toe shoes, it's it's wood. Like you're on a box on your toes with a silicone thing nowadays around your right. That's it. That's all that's cushioning you, right. And when you're rehearsing, you're meant to be silent. You're not meant to like really be heard. And having power and learning how to like, I don't know how you say control that power when you land so it's light and like, not your body weight and all that momentum and all that. Physics is like a physicality that I don't know that many people who don't know dance understand the power and strength that goes into that.

53:42 Like, I would love to see another athlete try it, right. I think that would be fascinating. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. It's like I think we are in the artistic artist world, like art world, but pretty much what we do is like athletes, like how much we train or how much we need to control or like and especially like be in the moment to succeed the movement, especially classical because contemporary dance you can you have a lot of techniques. Some of the techniques are difficult, but it's more about how to maybe yeah, like your. Body to.

54:31 Soften or maybe let it go but classical. But most of the things either like hold up a control or we both just went. Yeah, that's that's something. That yeah, it's still still like there's a lot to I have to a lot to learn, I feel and it's a everyday it's a it's a everyday, everyday. Like we are like practicing for that like to one second of success or beauty. So do you have a? Contract at the Charlotte Ballet. Yes, yes I do. It's. I'm here is, I think in the United States in general, it's a yearly contract, like year, year by year. So this is my third season with Charlotte Barre and that's kind of crazy.

55:27 I'm so excited. I'm so excited, yeah. I used to dance like weekly at the VAPA Center, like right across the street. Yeah, yeah. Because my. African. Dance clause used to be up there. So I was like, oh, I'd be the bad. I'm like, I really it's been I I should confess, it's been years since like I went. I don't know why. I guess I blame everything on COVID, right? You just get lazy. But I think I'm very excited to like watch you live. Is there is there any like dance that in your mind that you dream of like any choreographer, choreographer or choreography you dream of being able to do? Like is there something that like that's it, so.

56:12 You know, I think I. Had that more when I was a little bit younger, like, oh, I wish. I want to work with this person. I want to be part of this company. But you know, I think those things is because I'm watching YouTube, I'm watching some video clip, that's all this is crazy. Wow, this is but these days like I'm close to 30 years old and I think I start maybe varying more the process not about what I'm want to do and I think the company. Members that's.

56:54 How much we I can collaborate with how the atmosphere, how the choreographer like it's of course there is a big names that's yeah, like one day, why not like some opportunity. I will take any opportunity to do anything. But I also don't excite like I don't like if I hear like oh, this person is coming are you excited? Yes, of course I I'm excited. But it's not like because I want to be casted because I want to dance this and it's a check that I did. It's not like that. I feel like every single choreographer and sometimes I choreograph also. Like in Charlotte Valley, there is a opportunity that dancers can clog graph to other dancers and I done two years 2 times already and that's also very interesting. Some of the dancer.

57:51 Has such a creativity which they are not famous, they are not known in the world, but their creativity could be so amazing. So like I don't have a specific person or like company that's all I need to get into there or like I want to work with. But I really care whoever Cummings and whoever brings to brings to ask to me. The can be technical, can be emotional, can be type of movement that I can learn with. I'm always open to take it and I think that keep me going also as a dancer, because maybe my dream was becoming a professional dancer and I became that. And So what is your dream right now that I've been kind of thinking about this long time?

58:55 And I never had this drive of like becoming a principal dancer or prima ballerina. I never had this like, I don't know. I I like being on stage, but I'm don't like to be, how to say like middle of the circle. Like I, I don't like the country. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I'm not. Type of I want to be in the. Behind I want to be wow with them, but I don't need to be like people look at me and on stage of course I love being doing some solo or like some part that you know I'm only maybe alone on stage, but I it was never been like, oh, I need to get there. It was not like that, but every single every single piece, every single performance teach me how to use my body or how to express my feelings or emotions of active who I am through the movement is so fascinating and I think every like whoever comes to the studio and teachers, they have their own creativity and I'm so. Appreciate to got to meet them even they are maybe not that famous even they're coming in completely different. Country than.

1:00:17 I am. We have such a different culture, like how we can collaborate or how we can exchange a share at the moment. I think that's something that I love right now in my life at this moment. And how. Yeah. And that's. Something still. Keep going because you know, the dancing and doing professional career is maybe not that long. A lot of my friends already retired back to Japan and I've seen and I have talked to them and I still don't feel enough. I did. But it's because I don't have any specific goal or like, check, check things now. Like I think I I'm gaining so much daily, every day, and I just keep keep doing it.

1:01:09 Yeah. I think that's the beauty of a creative life though. Right, like we I I'm talking to all. Sorts of people famous and. Not as famous but we have the same dream because plenty of people make a living and live a life that is not what you. Might be brought up to. Be like, oh, this is what you you do when you grow up. But the world without art, without music, without dance, like, what is that like? Like I couldn't, I just couldn't survive. And I'm like, later on I'll be interviewing a woman who's older than me, who's still dancing ballet and still teaches and she's in Amsterdam. I don't want to, I don't know when she's going to record. So I don't want to say her name yet. But so I think the longevity of it can be a mindset. It can also, you know, like, like we were talking about a little bit about injuries.

1:02:06 I didn't really want to go there because I don't want to scare anyone. But it's like, you know, your body takes a beating right as a dancer especially, and so wear and tear and all of the things. I think I remember one time I got in a, I was in a car accident and I had to get an X-ray. And that's when I learned I had two vertebrates that I was born that were fused in my neck. And everyone's like, how do you move your head like that? I'm like, I didn't know I had the limitation. Do you know, like you just, you just do it because it's a challenge and it's a challenge and it's freeing. I don't know how to explain how like a dance inhabits me, but it's hard, you know, Like I don't I.

1:02:51 When I was younger. I could pick up much quicker, right? It was like, OK, OK, OK, I got it. Now what? I have to repeat it a lot more. My body doesn't always go the way I want it to, but I don't know. That's part of the joy. The struggle to learn and perfect and connect is part of the joy of it. So I hope you don't stop. And now I know I'm going to see you a couple times. I will have to like wait by the backstage door and get you to sign things and take really pictures. But I'm so there. You have no idea. I'm so there, but I want I want to say thank you for joining me. I want to like respect your time. I know you have other things to do, but I love to end every interview with the same question, which is if you came with a warning label, Remy, what would it be? So I was thinking.

1:03:40 And we didn't touch that side of me today, but maybe I. May. Disappear to chase sunset. Oh, I. Like that I as much as I love. Dancing, I think these past couple of years I've been travelling to Central America, South America, Europe, a lot of countries in Europe. Like it's not just auditioning like they were in the beginning, you know, like how I was travelling was for auditions, but now for fun.

1:04:20 And I love travelling and I love nature. I love mountains, I love sea, ocean waves. Like I love diving, I love surfing, like all the kind of things that maybe ballerina or dancer don't do so much. I'm there like I always love. And the sunset is I love sunlight too. Like sunlight is something that's starting the day and I, I'm a morning person. So most of the time when I leave home, it's still dark. I, I go, but the sunset is something that I, I, I'm obsessed and like seeing sunsets.

1:05:01 It's such a reward for my life. And if I can see this with some important people in my life, friends, my family, it's something that I feel like like came so. Far and. I can appreciate the company. I appreciate the people around me. When I'm looking at alone, I think there is a reason there and I can really deflect myself there. Yeah, like it's just like appreciates for the life and how far I could come with so many, so many reasons, so many sources, so many. Yeah.

1:05:43 Like people supported me to be here right now. And I think when I'm looking at sunset, I can always remember those people, those things that happened to me. And it's not always easy. It's not always always was right. But like, you lived here until now. And I think the sunsets is always reminds me that and I can be like back to like kind of like not the beginning, but yeah, like through my I love that. I think when I miss my. Friends from all over the world, I look at the moon and I think they see the same thing. And so we're still connected.

1:06:26 So I love that you are curious and creative. That is honestly what the Holly Hughes podcast is about, exploring those two things because I think when we do travel and we turn off like social media and we remember and meet people and see places, it's such a very different experience. And I think more times than not, it's pretty amazing. And you never know what to expect. And if you go within like an open minded curiosity, I hope that you are met out in the world that way. So thank you so much for joining me, helping me. It was really fun to talk to you. I will see you soon.

1:07:10 Yes, I hope so. Like, yeah. And anytime like coffee, lunch, dinner. We are living in the same same city. So yeah, let's let's meet before the show. Yeah, that would be fun. So thank you for listening to the Holly. Hughes podcast. We'll see you next week.