High Voltage Soul Igniter: Sam Howarth and Phoenyx Talk the Nature of Creativity, the Illusion of Safety and Human Design

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Welcome to the Holly Hughes
podcast, where I keep saying

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creative people come to discuss
what it is to live a life

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outside of the lines, outside of
the box.

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But today we're going there.
I haven't really introduced my

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intuitive Out loud yet on my
podcast, but with my guest

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today, we're going there.
We're really, really, really

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going there.
So I am going to do a really

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brief interview, I mean,
introduction to Samantha Howarth

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in Phoenix.
But I want you to hear their own

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voices, especially if you're
listening over a podcast or

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Apple, Spotify or Apple podcast,
so you can start to distinguish

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their voices.
But these two women who I've

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seen online and talked to really
intimately are the reason why I

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got brave enough to stand up and
actually start my podcast.

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It's been five years of people
asking me to do this, five years

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of me running.
But when 2025 came on my big

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board on the wall, it says to
myself this is the year of being

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seen as I've always been behind
the scenes and I've claimed my

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voice as a byline, as a word.
So because of both of you, I am

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out here in a whole new way.
So thank you for joining me.

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So let's talk start with Sam.
I'm just going to call her Sam

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because that's who she is.
She's the founder of The Way

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She's Made and she blends human
design and astrology into

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women's cycles to help women be
empowered.

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And I don't want to say
marketing and packaging.

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I don't even really know what is
coming because I actually know

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you're changing everything right
now.

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And when this podcast comes out,
it's going to be something else.

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But thank you for coming.
And my dear friend Phoenix here.

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She is a multi dimensional
artist, an intuitive creative

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and my favorite part, a ritual
Baker.

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So thank you both for coming.
Yay.

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So I I want to like throw it out
to Sam.

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So you explain how we all met.
OK, well, so we initially met

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just because I had a thought and
I was like, you know, I really

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want to create a space that is
everything off the table, bring

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the woo woo women together.
Let's just talk about everything

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from human design, spirituality,
what's going on in our life?

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What intuitive downloads are you
getting?

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So I had a poll to just throw it
out there and say, hey, if I

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created the space, would any
women be interested in joining

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me?
And I had like, I don't know,

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40-50 people within the first
like couple of hours say, yes,

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I'm in and sign up for this.
And each month I've created it.

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It's called the Soul Sync.
Well, my membership is now the

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Soul Sync Society.
But the Soul Sync sessions are

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just live free conversations.
We meet on Zoom.

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We've had everyone from like two
or three people up to like 10

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people.
And it's just a mix of everybody

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from across the globe coming
together and these women just

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having these amazing
conversations.

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So that's why I met Phoenix
initially over threads.

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I think I'm like, like the first
post that I put out there and

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she came to my first session and
then I met Holly a couple

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sessions later when I did that a
couple months ago.

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So that's how we kind of all
came together.

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And it was through one of those
conversations where we were

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like, Holly, this needs to
happen.

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And so here we are.
And Phoenix put me on blast.

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I just blasted my ass.
So what I really liked about

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those conversations because I
was in a place of loneliness,

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right?
Like, I was just, like, looking

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for woo woo without the flake.
I was looking for people who

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live it, work it.
Yeah.

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So there's plenty of, like,
healers out there or people who

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help who are very charismatic.
It's those people I'm often more

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worried about, honestly, because
the people who have gifts tend

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not to blast it.
Yeah, right.

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It's something that we hold
sacred.

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It's it's something that is very
integral into our like being and

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our soul and our purpose.
And I mean, that requires a bit

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of privacy for me and
protection.

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I mean, like, that's how I come
at it.

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What about you 2?
How how about you?

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What do you think about that?
Yeah, that resonates.

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I think it's, I think it's, I
love that you use the word

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integral because that's what
comes up for me.

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It's like an integral part of
our journey of remembering and

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realigning with our psychic
nature to be protective and sort

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of go into the proverbial cave
to reacquaint ourselves with

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safety and without being
perceived all the time.

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Because being being a psychic
neurodivergent human is a lot.

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And then being perceived on top
of that is like it's a whole

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dysregulating process if you
haven't been given the container

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from childhood.
So I think that's a part of the

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process is just being in your
hermit, being in your cave,

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being almost in the void space.
And then when you're like rooted

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and you've got your armor and
you feel so sure of the pillar

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that you are, then you can go
out into the world and you're

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like, yeah, I need my time to
cleanse and come back to self.

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But I'm much more able to be
fully visible and be like 110%

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out loud.
Yeah, when you say cave, I just

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see Mary Magdalene in her cave.
With all of us in our red caves.

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I mean, my hands are sweating.
This is so fun.

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So I know that you, Phoenix,
talk about having your gifts

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since you were young and getting
them from your grandmother.

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I'd love to know, like when you
figured out you were different

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because I had all my gifts too,
but I didn't know.

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Like how would I know that my
normal isn't your normal?

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So how did that happen for you?
It actually took quite a long

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time.
So just for a clarification for

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the audience, my grandmother
transitioned when I was 2, and

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that's when she gave me all the
gifts that she wasn't able to

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fully actualize in her
experience.

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But it wasn't until I was, I
would say, around 26 years old

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that I started to realize, oh,
my experience of being human is

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different than other people's
experience of being human.

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And it was through going to
like, yoga classes or meditation

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circles and starting to have
conversations and realizing

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other people were trying to
figure out how to close their

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energy field and how to, like,
separate their energy and their

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emotions from other people's
energies.

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And I was like, hold on, wait a
minute.

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What?
No, like this.

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I was just like, this is just
what it means to be human,

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right?
Like I never had a thought.

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Like, I'll, I'll be honest,
there was always a part of me

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that was like, I know I'm
special.

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And I think we all have that to
a degree.

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But there was a part of me
that's like, I don't know, I

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feel pretty singular out here.
Like I'm not resonating with a

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lot of these other people, but
it was, it was starting to have

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those conversations where I was
like, oh, where this specific

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small group of people is having
a very singular experience

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compared to the rest of the
collective.

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Something's going on here.
And then that's when the rabbit

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hole sort of opened and
swallowed me up and I was like,

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oh, oh, it goes quite deep.
Never mind.

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That's fascinating.
So Sam lives in a very haunted

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place.
I would like to say this because

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she's in Savannah.
So like how my brain is

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connecting the dots between what
you just said is like, when I

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was young, my grandfather, I
think, had antiques.

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And I had an antique chair in my
bedroom as a child.

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And in the back of the chair
there was like a rose carved

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into it and it always changed
faces at night and stared at me

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and scared the shit out of me
honestly.

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So I pile all my clothes on it
and until the chair would fall,

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which would then also what scare
the shit out of me.

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So like so I had the ability to
like see things, but and I

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didn't tell anyone because I was
so afraid.

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And then I had my own.
I think everyone else calls them

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imaginary friends, but it
wasn't.

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It was a voice that spoke to me
every night to help me through

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my fear and then also say
goodbye to me.

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And like, so that was my normal.
What about you, Sam?

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Did you have any kind of
experience like that?

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Because you're a human design
expert, and I'm wondering if

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your human design leaves space
for that.

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Yeah, so even in my astrology,
like I have the Cancer moon and

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I'm a Capricorn sun.
So the depth for me and like

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going back to the, the
conversation about integrity and

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authenticity is like a core
thing for me.

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And I I feel like for me, so one
of the my actual core gift in

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human design is inner knowing.
So it comes up for me of like, I

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just know things.
And I think it's similar for me

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where like I've always just kind
of known things or I've

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intuitively known those things.
But for me, I kind of suppressed

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them throughout my life and I
didn't realize how I was

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suppressing them until I
suffered from adrenal fatigue.

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Well, so I kind of suppressed
everything my, my whole life.

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I'm just going to start from
there.

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I suppressed everything and
wasn't realizing it until it

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kind of started to break my body
down and I really put myself out

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there when I started to do
wedding planning.

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And as an empath and somebody
who picks up energy, that was

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really bad move because I was
picking up all of this dress and

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kind of surprised I was dead for
like a week after a wedding.

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So I was like, what is happening
to me?

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And once I started to shift into
that holistic journey of healing

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my body, it started to reconnect
all the dots and I started to go

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down the rabbit hole, as Phoenix
said, like deep, deep, deep of

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like, oh, there's energy healing
and there's all of these

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different components to us.
And if I'm suppressing that, my

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body's picking up on all these
energies and these emotions and

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that inner knowing and that
guidance is, and then like, you

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know, the voices and the
downloads and stuff like that.

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If I read a human design chart,
like the downloads that I get

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and the connecting pieces, it's
wild to me that I can just sit

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there and like have a
conversation and I'm like, oh, I

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know exactly to where you need
to go because I just heard it

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and people are like, what?
Like how did that happen?

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So it's not until I went out on
that journey, probably in the

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past like 3 or 4 years, that
I've really started to connect

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all the pieces and understand
like, oh, that's what this is.

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Yeah, you both seem to have gone
through massive shifts, like

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Saturn Return.
Like Saturn Return hit me a bit

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different.
Like I did the starter marriage

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divorce thing for my Saturn
return and I decided that I

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couldn't be or work like my dad.
It was like a like my continuous

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daddy issues, my onion in this
life.

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But for me it was, it was more
about that and learning.

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I matter and I could say, no,
that was like, not that I was

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good at it and not that I wasn't
neurotic still, but like that,

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that was it for me like that.
I can't.

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What I used to think my
superpower was is I could

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survive it.
I could survive that.

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I know how to manage that.
I could survive that, I could

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put up with that, I could put up
with that.

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I know how to deal with that.
I could put up with it.

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But I just was shoving
everything until it exploded.

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And then I was like, oh, maybe
not.

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Maybe I have to kind of do it
different.

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And I'm a big believer that as
we climb the ladder of life, if

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we skip a rung or two, God's
like, Nah, babe, go back.

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You need to go back and hit that
one back up.

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So you guys are younger than me.
So the Saturn return effect is

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newer and right now while we're
recording is this wicked awesome

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Mercury retrograde.
And it has been a fascinating,

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what's the word vibration?
I'll just use a vibration for me

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because all of my own fears
about again stepping out and

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being seen, that voice is here.
And I was like, Nah, Nah, bitch,

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shut up.
Like stop, just stop, Which is

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like fascinating that you never
outgrow it.

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But I think also when you don't
hit these places of difficulty,

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even though we hate them,
there's no getting better.

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How about how is that work for
you to like, you know, like with

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Phoenix, you have both your art
and your gifts and we didn't

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actually touch on that.
You, you do shadow work.

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So when I first saw you and I
could energetically see that, I

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was like, no man, I don't go
there.

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00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:35,680
And you're like, why not, right?
Just like that, Like that face,

223
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:39,360
Just let that face right there.
Well, you can try to hide from

224
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:43,680
it and I'll tell you what I see.
But I like your beautifully

225
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:48,360
confrontational directness is I
love that.

226
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:52,480
Like I will take that kind of
communication all day long.

227
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:57,600
So how does like Mercury
retrograde and all of that and

228
00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:01,240
neurodivergence, like how do
you, what does that feel like?

229
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:06,200
Oh wow, in a minute.
That's a big question.

230
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:11,720
First I want to say that I have
Mercury in retrograde on the

231
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:16,320
inmate birth chart.
So this is like, I don't want to

232
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:20,160
say natural energy for me, but
it feels more familiar than when

233
00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,720
Mercury is direct, which I think
is a little bit of an asset.

234
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,360
So I'll take that.
Thanks.

235
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:30,880
And I also have Virgo in Mercury
and my son is in is in Virgo.

236
00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:35,520
So it me and Mercury are like,
we're just homies, you know?

237
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:39,760
And so I think that's also where
my communication style kind of

238
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,400
comes from.
It's like very direct.

239
00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:44,720
And I actually had someone say
something to me recently, which

240
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,560
I love and I think I'm still
integrating.

241
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:50,000
But he said, whoa, you're like,
you're like the communal acid,

242
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,360
like any sort of truths that are
hiding under the surface, you

243
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:56,520
just bring them right out.
So everyone has to look at them

244
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,080
and I.
Just thought that was that is

245
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:00,840
you.
That's the quote of it.

246
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,200
That is you.
Thank you.

247
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:08,120
I love it.
I think it's great, but there's

248
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:09,960
a lot of pieces that are
surfacing for me right now.

249
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:13,520
So like for one, I want to tie
in the web where Sam is a

250
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,200
Capricorn son, I have a
Capricorn stallion, Sam is a

251
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,120
Cancer moon, I'm Cancer rising.
So we have like a lot of

252
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:22,840
parallels in our ability to feel
everything, but also our ability

253
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:26,600
to root deeply into the physical
realm because we're so earthly

254
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,720
connected.
So I think that combination

255
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,240
comes through and how I
communicate.

256
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,640
I also have an Aries moon in
Western astrology.

257
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,040
And So what comes up for me
internally is when I go into a

258
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,640
space where I'm talking to
anyone, I feel everything, like

259
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,560
everything.
Like, I feel all your joys and

260
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,840
all your greatest grievances,
all your fears and your doubts,

261
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:50,960
all your desires and your wants.
And my Virgo is very eloquently

262
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,280
organizing everything.
She's like, la, la, la, this is

263
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,200
here.
OK.

264
00:14:56,280 --> 00:15:00,600
And then my Aries moon is like,
hold up, I just saw you limit

265
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,560
yourself.
I just saw you pull some

266
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:05,080
bullshit.
That's where you need to be bold

267
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,240
and you're deciding to hide
behind a wall.

268
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,680
I think that's the voice you
used when you yelled at me.

269
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:13,440
I.
Don't know that I would say I

270
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:14,880
yelled.
No, no, it's good.

271
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,160
I need.
I have no problem with that.

272
00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:20,520
Like my husband, like when my
mother comes to visit my home,

273
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,960
she can't understand how my
husband and I communicate

274
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:27,240
because we're super direct.
We don't like even when I say I

275
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:30,200
love you, I'm pretty direct.
Like I don't have to smush it,

276
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:34,200
wrap it and bubble wrap.
And I mean, flowers are lovely,

277
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,760
but I want to just just tell me
just I want to know what's up.

278
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,520
So you guys are all in this
grounded.

279
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:44,160
I'm an Aquarian with a Cancer
rising and a moon in Pisces.

280
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,600
I know.
So we're this a beautiful like

281
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:50,680
balance right now.
Maybe that's why I'm like

282
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,680
sweating so much.
That's maybe why you make me

283
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:56,560
feel so dizzy.
Like, I'm like, all morning,

284
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,400
I've been like, wee, I don't
feel my body.

285
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,080
Yay.
Let's not bump into anything.

286
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,440
I tried to ground it.
They weren't having it.

287
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:07,760
They were not having it at all.
And I've got lots of grounding

288
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,840
on me, too.
And it's like, Nah, man, just go

289
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,360
with it.
So, wow.

290
00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:17,280
All right, Sam, you are in the
middle of starting over again,

291
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:21,880
right?
Of transitioning, elevating like

292
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,600
you're just just like how I
actually see it is like

293
00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:29,040
discarding old packing tape.
Yeah, yeah, I've done it a

294
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,680
couple of times and I feel like
there was a little bit and a

295
00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:34,560
little bit, and then this one I
was just like, OK, all of that's

296
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:36,680
done.
Like all of these pieces that

297
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:40,520
were fragmented, that were
whatever leftover, I just left a

298
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,560
relationship.
He was a Leo, same way my mom

299
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:45,600
was.
And I know Phoenix has called me

300
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,160
out on this in a shadow work
session where my soul kind of

301
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:52,520
picked these people to basically
put me in the the roles of

302
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:56,560
forcing me to accept myself on
the deepest level and to

303
00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,000
confident, confidently go
forward and own all of what I am

304
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,920
and to kind of show that to the
world.

305
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,720
And I had never done that
before.

306
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,720
I was always just kind of the
same way that Hollywood's are

307
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:09,160
like people pleasing.
And I don't, I did not realize

308
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:12,760
it until probably the last six
months of how much I was just

309
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:15,960
holding on to some of these
other things because it felt

310
00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:19,440
safe, no matter how unstable it
was or whatever.

311
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,760
Cuz that was familiar to me.
Like those feelings were

312
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:24,119
feelings that I felt in
childhood, things that were said

313
00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,720
to me as a child that was just
like, OK, whatever.

314
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,520
And it just kind of like layered
on.

315
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:29,880
And that was what was normal to
me.

316
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,360
And then all of a sudden I just
woke up and I was like, no,

317
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:35,160
that's not normal.
Like I deserve to be happy and I

318
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,840
deserve to own everything that
I'm doing.

319
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:42,160
And so I had that transition.
I moved a little under a month

320
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:46,960
ago and so I'm in my nice new
place now and I just kept

321
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,320
hearing this voice of like the
things were not lining up

322
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,080
because I was making my dream
too small.

323
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,080
So I have this big vision of
having a homestead and all this

324
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:57,920
stuff and I was basically kind
of narrowing it down to be

325
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,360
what's logical and realistic.
So that's the balance that I've

326
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:02,560
been fighting for the past
couple of years through my

327
00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:05,880
awakening is what is logical and
where am I holding myself back

328
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:09,520
because of logic versus what can
the universe give me because

329
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,400
it's not on a budget.
So I kind of started to lean

330
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,320
into more of the woo woo of
like, OK, the universe, let's

331
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,680
see how good it can get.
And I like instead of getting a

332
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,480
little tiny townhouse, this
place fell into my lap and it's

333
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,840
basically like a mini farm.
Like I have fruit trees in the

334
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,160
back.
It's like these this huge lot

335
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,000
fully fenced.
I could bring all my dogs.

336
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,520
Like it's this amazing space.
I just feel like my soul has

337
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,200
been here before.
Like I feel like I could be

338
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,760
creative again.
And that space has been opening

339
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:41,280
up and in my corporate life
after like I graduated with a

340
00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:44,160
graphic design degree, did all
that stuff, did the corporate

341
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,760
life and I was like, no, I don't
want to sit in an office with no

342
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,160
windows all day.
Like I need something more that

343
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:51,920
this is not actually living
creatively.

344
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:55,360
This is the logic talking.
So I quit that job, did the

345
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:57,240
wedding planning.
We know how that went.

346
00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:00,520
Now I have started my own
business and through that

347
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,160
journey built the business that
I'm in now.

348
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,240
So there's been so many
different transitions of like

349
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,000
starting over.
And I feel like each time I've

350
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:10,120
reclaimed more and more of me.
And now I'm in a place where I

351
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:12,920
literally put up a post a couple
date like 2 days ago and I was

352
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:15,400
like, OK, here's the things that
are shifting in my business and

353
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,920
people are probably going to
lose their shit.

354
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,600
But you know, I'm going all in
on the woo woo.

355
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:22,240
And I'm talking the human
design.

356
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,960
I'm talking about cycles
thinking like I'm just claiming

357
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,680
it because I feel like that's
the only way because I was

358
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:31,280
rasping at the design pieces
because people understand it or

359
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,640
it was safe.
And I'm like, I love all that.

360
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,040
I can integrate that in some
way, but I need to lead with the

361
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,880
intuitive.
Like I'm not using my gifts or

362
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:41,880
sharing my gifts and my core
gift is literally that inner

363
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,080
knowing and like helping people
to bridge.

364
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,680
That clairvoyance Look, can we
use the right word now?

365
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,840
Can we can we just say
clairvoyant, that you're

366
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:50,160
clairvoyant?
Clairaudient.

367
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,920
Clair sentient.
Come on, let's go bring out the

368
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,160
Claire's.
Maybe we should get here.

369
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:54,920
Sure.
Claire.

370
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:55,560
Claire.
Claire.

371
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,520
Maybe your nickname is now
Claire.

372
00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,000
Like if for the next week just
on.

373
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,600
Yourself.
My mom's name is Claire.

374
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:01,960
Is he?
Do you like?

375
00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:05,000
Yeah.
And she's the Capricorn you

376
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,920
kill.
My My mom is me in another

377
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,320
dimension.
My eternal gift is to learn to

378
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:10,720
love her every time.
I don't, yeah.

379
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,440
That's a good way to do it.
I think I spent so much time

380
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:18,320
like my even my real not perfect
Academy was created to help

381
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:21,920
people stop doing what they know
cuz what they know is

382
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:23,960
uncomfortable and they didn't
actually make them happy.

383
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,000
It was just this is what I know.
So that's what I was saying in

384
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,080
my Saturn return, right?
Like this is what I know.

385
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:32,320
These are the people that I
know, this is I know how to love

386
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:35,560
really hurt and broken people.
I can like, you know, like that

387
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:39,160
was I was like, Nah, man.
I mean, I definitely I have to

388
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,240
say anyone listening, just
because you heal, it doesn't

389
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:46,200
mean that your taste or your
sass or whatever goes away

390
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,640
because I like edgy people.
I do.

391
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,560
I like really nice people too,
But you know, I feel like I can

392
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:55,640
get down and sarcastic with like
edgy people without hurting

393
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:59,200
their feelings.
So that is still something that

394
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,560
is part of my life.
So I want, I think people think

395
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:06,440
if they heal, they think they're
like all kumbaya and om and no,

396
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,600
you're still a person.
We're here having a human

397
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,440
experience.
I can't live on the plane of

398
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,520
being connected to spirit all
the time because I wouldn't be

399
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:18,160
able to drive.
I mean, like I would be like, I

400
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:21,320
used to have bruises all over my
body and like a healer's like,

401
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,280
do you walk in to shoot?
I was like, yeah, she's like,

402
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,080
you got a ground.
I'm like, why would I?

403
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,120
Why would I?
Why?

404
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,080
Right.
So which is the the irony of

405
00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,880
probably why I danced so hard.
So in those hours, I was really

406
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,840
physical.
And then I was like, la, la, la,

407
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:39,280
la, la.
I will be out here and it will

408
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,680
be awesome.
So.

409
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,760
Oh, you and Leo's though.
Fascinating.

410
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,760
I want to extricate that for you
so bad.

411
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,640
Leos are awesome.
They are amazing.

412
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:54,560
They have a gift of mesmerizing
me.

413
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:59,200
Like when a Leo looks at me, I
feel like I am the only human in

414
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:03,800
the world and they see me and I
am gorgeous and talented.

415
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,560
And so I'm like, yes.
And then they turn their head

416
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,120
and it all goes away and it goes
to someone else.

417
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:12,800
And I'm like, it's like it
triggers like a strange

418
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,160
jealousy.
Still, it's fascinating.

419
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,920
I'm like, oh, look at that.
Damn Leo.

420
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:20,480
Damn Leo.
So OK, you are into human

421
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,160
design.
And first of all, you're like a

422
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:27,640
manifesting what generator or
generator, whatever.

423
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:31,800
Regular generator, but yes.
Whatever.

424
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:36,800
So I am a spleenic projector 62,
so I'm just jealous of everybody

425
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,760
else.
But I want to ground you right

426
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,240
now, like in who you are that
way.

427
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,920
So tell me a little bit about
human design.

428
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:47,360
Why don't we share with other
creative people why exploring

429
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:50,280
that might help them understand
their journey where they get

430
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:54,080
stuck or not seen?
I love that.

431
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:59,320
So the thing that brought me to
Human Design is I was on that

432
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:03,560
self discovery journey where I
was trying to fix my body, like

433
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:08,160
kind of recalibrate my body and
realign with what health was for

434
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:09,760
me.
And as I was doing that, I

435
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,080
learned about cycle syncing, I
was learning about all these

436
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,240
other tools and human design was
one of them.

437
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:19,040
And as I was diving deeper in on
the marketing perspective or

438
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,040
looking for at creative
projects, I was like, why is

439
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,240
what's working for this person
not working for me?

440
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,760
And so I was trying to logic my
way out of that question of like

441
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,560
logically, why does the strategy
work?

442
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,720
And I couldn't logic my way out
of it.

443
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,600
So human design gave me that
answer.

444
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:35,600
It's like a blueprint or road
map back to your own energetic

445
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,880
blueprint.
And I was like, this makes so

446
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,120
much sense.
Like logically, was my job

447
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,120
draining me because of what I
was doing?

448
00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:44,680
Was it physically demanding?
No.

449
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:48,680
But I was drained by the end of
the day because it wasn't

450
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,040
lighting me up because I'm a
sacral generator.

451
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:54,680
So those different things are
understanding who you are and

452
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:58,400
those different gifts that you
have for me is the the way back

453
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,640
to yourself and back into your
body so that you can then be

454
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,560
that creative person.
And it gives you like a

455
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,720
permission slip to live the most
authentic version of you because

456
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,440
you're able to tap into that.
But it also gave me a system

457
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,880
where I could be like, oh, these
are the things that work for me.

458
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:16,040
And so it gave me something
tangible to be able to tap into

459
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,720
the intuitive side.
Fascinating.

460
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,720
So for people who don't know
human design.

461
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,880
So I, I like to confess that
it's one thing I haven't gotten

462
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,240
into because I have too many
things living in my brain and

463
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:29,040
like learning that is just too
much for me, especially when I'm

464
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,480
desperately still trying to
remember all the Korean I've

465
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,800
ever learned that and forgotten
again.

466
00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:36,880
But for me with you, I really
want you to explain to someone

467
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,200
who maybe isn't.
It's not astrology, it's not

468
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:42,600
tarot, it's I think you use
intuitive gifts to be good at

469
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,560
being able to explain it.
But how would you explain human

470
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,160
design to someone who's never
heard about it?

471
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,440
So it kind of blends all of
those things.

472
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,880
So for some, a lot of people are
familiar with archetype tests.

473
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,520
So like you'll do those in a, in
a corporate job or something

474
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,760
like that with how am I designed
to work?

475
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,000
What are the things that make
sense?

476
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,840
Am I more organized and
structured or do I need more

477
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:09,480
flow in my day, so to speak?
And to me, it's kind of a more

478
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:14,240
in depth spiritual version of
the archetype test if if that

479
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:17,920
makes sense in a way, because it
helps you to understand how are

480
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:19,840
you designed to connect with the
world?

481
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,840
How are you designed to work?
Do you need more structure?

482
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,840
Do you need more flow or
intuitive guidance?

483
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,320
What are your gifts and your
purpose like?

484
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,600
Those are all things that are
layered into it.

485
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:33,080
And it pulls from astrology, the
I chain all of those different

486
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:36,120
pieces.
So it has a very spiritual

487
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:39,320
essence.
What I like about it is like I

488
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,480
plug in my birthday and it tells
me all of these things.

489
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:45,120
When I do an archetype test, I'm
like, did I answer that question

490
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:48,240
correctly or I could kind of see
A&B and these options that I

491
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,000
kind of like go down that rabbit
hole.

492
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,440
For me it like takes all that
away because it's just taking

493
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:56,320
that energetic blueprint
snapshot of who is Sam on this

494
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,120
perspective as a soul.
What made you shove yourself

495
00:25:59,120 --> 00:26:00,640
into a corporate box to begin
with?

496
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,080
This is this is the thing,
right?

497
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:03,920
Phoenix and I are staring at
you.

498
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,280
And I'm like, I still see like
the weight of this building on

499
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:07,480
you, like my shoulders are
hurting.

500
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,360
Looking at you, my shoulders.
For a ride.

501
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:14,960
I just like, sorry, it's
interesting to read you 'cause

502
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,120
you're kind of blurry, honestly,
on my screen, but that's part of

503
00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:19,440
the magic that we're sharing.
Look, you just cleared up for

504
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,280
1/2 a second.
This is going to be fun.

505
00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:25,000
I think for me, I don't unders
like, I don't know what

506
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,680
responsibility made you think
corporate was the only way to

507
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:29,560
go.
And I was just going to throw

508
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,640
this out there as a woman who
doesn't speak corporate and

509
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:36,360
never wants to like I never
really want to.

510
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:42,520
I I'm so curious what your words
and how you would describe

511
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:46,240
things from that emotional
stomach thing that you have as

512
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:51,080
opposed to the thought.
Does that make sense?

513
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,280
To explain the difference
between like the gut feeling

514
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:54,840
versus how I know when I'm in my
head.

515
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,480
Yeah, like cuz I think.
But The thing is, isn't even

516
00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:59,840
gut.
That's your emotion.

517
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:04,160
You're defining your gut as as a
physical trait of your body,

518
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,760
where to me it's where you're
holding your emotion and your

519
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,880
psychic connection.
And when I got really good at

520
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:13,760
connecting to spirit, it was
from that and doors literally

521
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:15,600
open.
They shot out of me and opened

522
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:19,440
as opposed to going up and out
for anyone not looking at me.

523
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:22,040
A lot of people who, when they
learn to meditate or start

524
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:25,040
connecting to spirit or their
guides or whatever you want to

525
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:28,680
call it, they often go like in
their third eye or crown chakra,

526
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,560
which is the middle of your
forehead at the top of your

527
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,600
head.
Because it's easy to dream that

528
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:34,400
way, right?
But you're not really grounded.

529
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,040
You're not pulling the full
message.

530
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:39,320
And when you integrate the
message into your body, you then

531
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,680
start to interpret it.
I guess that's a good word.

532
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,920
Did you use that word?
Because Phoenix is smiling at

533
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,040
me, Vanessa, I'm just going to
call her Vanessa.

534
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:52,760
But like when I finally learned
to go here in that space and all

535
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:55,640
your insecurities and all your
fears then go away and then then

536
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:59,240
oops, I hit my mic.
Then it just opens it like and

537
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,480
literally it just like all this
light and all these doors.

538
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:06,600
So I feel like you still think
you have to show up looking and

539
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,400
doing it a certain way.
And I just want to take a bat

540
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:13,040
and smash that around you.
And then then your homestead

541
00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:15,760
will just like, it'll just grow
like an Eden.

542
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,320
Maybe you should think of it as
your new Eden.

543
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,400
Yeah, I love that.
I think that's true because like

544
00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:26,400
I've felt that I can kind of
bring it.

545
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,640
Like when I get the downloads, I
feel it where I'm like, OK, I

546
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,560
kind of, I know that and I know
it very easily for other people.

547
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,240
So if I'm like doing a reading
or I'm having a session with a

548
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,920
client, I can connect all of the
dots.

549
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,040
And so in my human design, I
have a triple split.

550
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,400
So sometimes I know when I'm in
my head, when I'm trying to

551
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,200
connect the dots and I'm doing
it logically and I'm not

552
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:48,160
grounding it, like it's not
grounding all the way where it

553
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,000
gets like stuck at some point.
And I'm like, OK, it's not fully

554
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,680
integrating.
And I can feel that moment.

555
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,120
But if I'm even sitting in a
coffee shop, like I work really

556
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:59,240
well in a coffee shop because of
the energies around me kind of

557
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:03,680
help me to just connect the
circuit, if you will.

558
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:07,160
Like it's just I can pick up on
the energies around me and it's

559
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,200
just like, OK, like I can get
these these things done.

560
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,920
I feel like I can integrate it
more if that makes sense.

561
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:14,200
That's fascinating.
I can't.

562
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:15,520
What about how?
What about you?

563
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,120
What about you, Vina?
It's like coffee shop work.

564
00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:21,560
I mean like that sounds hard for
me.

565
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,880
It depends on the work that I'm
doing, like the nature of what

566
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:29,240
I'm working on because I, for me
in some cases as a

567
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:33,360
neurodivergent body doubling is
helpful for me to focus and the

568
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:36,440
specific gates and centers that
I have open in my human design

569
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:38,640
chart.
I need someone who has like a

570
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:40,800
defined heart center, for
example, to be around.

571
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:42,720
And then I'm like, oh, I can
focus.

572
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,000
Someone else's energy is
mirroring to me what it feels

573
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,040
like to be consistent in this
energy.

574
00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,080
Whereas if I'm by myself, I kind
of just, I float a lot.

575
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:52,880
That's.
Fascinating.

576
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,520
I'm the opposite.
That's beautiful.

577
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,600
I love that for you.
Like when I'm around, if I go to

578
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:01,440
a writers workshop or something
like that, I'm around like

579
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:03,920
minded people.
That way it's pretty generative.

580
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:07,640
I get jazz, but I also
inherently get drained.

581
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,440
Like I have to be so protective
of my energy.

582
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:16,200
So I've that's fascinating.
I think it depends on the day

583
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,680
too.
Like there's it's so multi

584
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,560
layered.
Like depending on where I am in

585
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:23,640
my cycle, depending on how much
solitude I've had that week.

586
00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,800
You know, if I've had a lot of
time alone and I'm ovulating,

587
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,560
I'm like hell yeah, put me in a
fucking cafe.

588
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:35,200
But if I'm in Ludial and I've
had no solo time, I will hiss at

589
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,200
you.
I cannot be in a cafe where.

590
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:40,720
And and Sam does that in her
work too.

591
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:46,040
She actually uses the cycles to
help lead.

592
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:50,440
I love that.
That's how I overcame my burnout

593
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,240
was just that.
And that's how I like started to

594
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:56,440
understand my body more and
that's when I started to connect

595
00:30:56,440 --> 00:31:00,080
the dots with my gifts and
understand and see like, OK,

596
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,080
things are trying to come in,
but I was blocking them.

597
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:04,360
All right.
So, OK, I think I originally

598
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,120
started asking, how is this
Mercury retrograde?

599
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:12,120
How is it hitting you?
And so when it's over in three

600
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,280
months, when we're sharing this
with the rest of the world and

601
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:19,840
your image comes in, you're
focused and clear, where do you

602
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,680
hope to be?
What are you imagining or

603
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:29,240
manifesting honestly?
It's interesting because when I

604
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,440
see like I see this huge homes,
it's not even just a homestead

605
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:35,440
because about a month ago I was
like, OK, I have this vision of

606
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:38,920
a homestead and I want like the
animals, I want the land, I want

607
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:39,920
all this.
But I was like, but how does

608
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:41,520
this integrate to the work that
I'm doing?

609
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:45,280
So I literally meditated on it
and I had this crystal clear

610
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:47,840
vision of like there's a Co
working space and it has this

611
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,440
huge barn and like the stalls
where horses would be are

612
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,280
actually spaces where people can
have meetings.

613
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:57,360
And like there's this how Google
has the the places where it's

614
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,360
like get out of your normal day
and kind of go play or do a game

615
00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:02,320
or something like that.
Like I want to do that, but in a

616
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:06,160
grounding way where it's like go
build a garden walk on this path

617
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,000
with like this, the reflexology
stones and there's like an

618
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:12,640
animal healing center and like a
meditation space.

619
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:14,680
Like all of this stuff.
Like it was just so clear and I

620
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:17,480
was like, OK, that's a lot
bigger than I was initially

621
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:21,680
thinking.
So I'm actually recreating that

622
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:25,840
now with my membership program
just on like a smaller scale

623
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:29,680
basically, and I'm creating the
mind, body, soul and business

624
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,520
resources so that people can do
can take those and use those

625
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:35,880
where they're at now.
So whether that's a meditation

626
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:40,280
or a visualization or the vision
mapping, I'm doing the Co

627
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,840
working locally.
I called it the boss switches.

628
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,200
So we meet up at coffee shops
once a week and we connect and

629
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,160
collaborate and just Co work
together.

630
00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,000
And that started kind of blowing
up.

631
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,000
So I'm kind of working on
building that.

632
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:55,880
So I see that evolving and I
really just want to build an

633
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,480
ecosystem of visionary women,
same way that I did with the

634
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,000
Soul Sync Society where we can
come, we can connect, we can

635
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,400
collaborate, ground each other,
mirror things back to each other

636
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:07,520
so that we can continue to
evolve in mind, body, soul and

637
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,280
business.
So bringing in some of the.

638
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:14,040
Can I offer one word switch for
you instead of build grow?

639
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:16,440
Because you're a homestead,
you're not corporate.

640
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,600
I like that.
Right.

641
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,760
And that's like what you did,
you grew this connection here,

642
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:25,000
right.
Look at like all the things that

643
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,600
are coming out of it.
So I'm going to help steer you

644
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:34,520
back away, back from like that
magnet that you can connect with

645
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:38,360
that you don't like.
Yeah, You don't like that one.

646
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:41,920
Yeah.
So let's replace like, like that

647
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:43,800
out the window.
Yeah.

648
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:47,000
Because like I, I love the fact
that you are disciplined and you

649
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,480
have your process and there is
linear thought, which is like a

650
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,200
whole new thing for me, right?
Linear thought to go A to B to

651
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:54,760
C, right?
I like that.

652
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:56,160
And it works for you.
That's your structure.

653
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:58,600
I wouldn't change that.
But I don't like the word build.

654
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:02,080
I like grow because Bill takes
work and grow is organic.

655
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:03,680
Yeah, I like that.
Literally.

656
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:07,640
So we're in Mercury retrograde.
I know you are right now

657
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:10,600
releasing some of your old art,
right?

658
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:12,400
Like you're an artist,
literally.

659
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:15,120
Actually you have a favorite
quote.

660
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,239
I don't know if you know that,
but you what?

661
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:20,400
Creativity isn't a hobby.
It's a holy way of being.

662
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:25,760
I love that you say that.
So tell me how that is for you,

663
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:29,040
like in how to how you live that
that's your truth.

664
00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,920
I would say that it's a truth
I'm coming back to first and

665
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:37,080
foremost because similarly to
Sam, I've been in this

666
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:40,320
consistent sort of transition
phase where I'm like evolving

667
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:42,320
and then I feel like I've landed
and then I evolve again.

668
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:44,360
I feel like I've land and I just
keep expanding.

669
00:34:44,679 --> 00:34:48,480
So being a creator is my natural
state of being.

670
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:53,120
And I feel like, and I'll
probably cry saying this, being

671
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:57,360
a human being is to be a creator
and to come home to the

672
00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:00,560
awareness that you are meant to
solely create is the most

673
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:02,360
devotional path you can take in
life.

674
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:09,320
And the way my human design is
set up is that I am here to

675
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:15,160
solely follow what lights me the
fuck up and pick it up and drop

676
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,000
it as quickly as it no longer
lights me up.

677
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:21,200
It doesn't matter how lazy or
inconsistent or or fickle I may

678
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,560
appear on the outside.
Like my role really is to

679
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:26,920
create.
And the second something stops

680
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,200
lighting me up to let it go and
it doesn't matter.

681
00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:34,720
And So what I've been sort of
coming home to in this past year

682
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:42,560
of deaths and rebirths at
nauseam is where am I creating?

683
00:35:42,560 --> 00:35:46,080
Because someone else told me
that's how I should create or

684
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:49,480
that looks valuable or
productive versus I just want to

685
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,080
create cuz I actually just want
to create.

686
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:54,720
So for me it's been coming home
to like waking up every morning

687
00:35:54,720 --> 00:35:58,400
or every rising and feeling into
my sacral because I am a sacral

688
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:01,320
authority.
What what do I want?

689
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:05,000
What feels delicious right now?
What feels delicious to do not

690
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:07,400
what sort of list do I have to
make?

691
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:11,560
What what are my 2 do's?
What would be the most, what

692
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:13,360
would create the most results?
What would be the most

693
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:15,920
productive?
So I just TuneIn it really.

694
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,360
It looks a lot like I'm going to
get up and the first thing I'm

695
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:22,640
going to do is make a cup of
cacao and make myself a protein

696
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:24,840
smoothie.
I'm going to go sit in my garden

697
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:27,880
and I'm going to do yoga.
And then I'm going to meditate

698
00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,200
and I'm going to talk to the
trees and I'm going to flirt

699
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,360
with the butterflies.
And then I'm going to come

700
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:35,200
inside and I'm going to make a
loaf of sourdough bread.

701
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,480
And then while the sourdough
bread is proofing or fermenting,

702
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:40,560
I'm going to come work on the
paintings that are currently

703
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,480
channeling through this one's
really potent.

704
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:46,480
Hope you guys can feel it.
And and then I'm going to feel

705
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,720
into my my sacral again.
And oh, my body's hungry now.

706
00:36:49,720 --> 00:36:52,800
So let's go like, let's go
create something cool and

707
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:56,680
fusiony that's from the cosmos
and from like the kitchen angels

708
00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,040
and is going to really nourish
my body for what it needs right

709
00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:02,200
now, but it's also going to
nourish the artist in me.

710
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,520
That's like what happens when
you throw those two things

711
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:06,800
together.
And that's just, for me, that's

712
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,200
what it looks like.
It's constantly tuning into like

713
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,840
what's alive and what's lighting
me up.

714
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:15,760
And, and really it's like, like
to be a creator is to be a

715
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:17,080
channel.
So to be a human is to be a

716
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:18,640
channel.
So people that are in like the

717
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:21,440
idea or the illusion that
they're not a creator or a

718
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:25,000
creator or a channel is just
fundamentally a lie because

719
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:29,080
everything is energy.
And these creative ideas or

720
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:33,560
these creative urges, these
energetic pulses, they're

721
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:38,720
waiting for us as grounded human
pillars, physical beings, to

722
00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:41,680
receive them and then birth them
through the canal of our

723
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:44,360
existence.
And so I'm just constantly

724
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,320
coming back to what wants to be
birthed in this moment.

725
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:52,040
How do I be the greatest
channel, the greatest bridge,

726
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:55,800
the greatest mother I can be?
That is fulfilling and

727
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,920
nourishing to me, but it's also
what is the highest alignment

728
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:00,720
for the planet that I'm living
on.

729
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:02,880
And that's just it.
Like how can I be so?

730
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:06,680
Big it's just that how can I be
the highest for my planet and

731
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,680
myself?
And no, that there's no just in

732
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,920
that sentence at all.
That's massive.

733
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,480
And I think I, I would have quit
like halfway through that.

734
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,920
Like you're like, I don't have A
to do list, but.

735
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:22,920
That's my Mercury in Virgo
though.

736
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,600
Like how can I explain it at
nauseam so you get it?

737
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,360
It's a Virgo rightness.
I get it, I get it.

738
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:30,160
I like it.
Actually.

739
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:33,840
What I really appreciate right
now from my view of seeing you

740
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,920
is your two pieces of artwork
behind you, or like Ying and

741
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:39,960
Yang because they split you like
they're.

742
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:42,440
Right down the middle I did.
You must have done that on

743
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:43,080
purpose.
I was.

744
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,720
Like I didn't super cool.
Happy accident, meant to be.

745
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,520
I I like that.
I like that.

746
00:38:50,720 --> 00:38:53,760
Has your connection to Spirit
ever gone away?

747
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:57,440
Oh yeah.
Oh, yeah, I love that you

748
00:38:57,440 --> 00:38:59,400
answered that question because
I've gone through a couple of

749
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:03,480
periods of time where I I joked
and said like my Wi-Fi signal

750
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:05,600
was cut off and I can't get back
online.

751
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:11,040
But last year and last year
around April, I got back from

752
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:14,000
Costa Rica and everything came
to a halt.

753
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,400
And Sam has sort of like an
intimate view in behind the

754
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:21,200
scenes of my experience there.
But it, it really just, I was

755
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:24,280
completely, I don't want to say
severed because that's not true,

756
00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:26,280
but that was the experience that
my human had.

757
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:31,440
And it was an opportunity for me
to go back into the roots of my

758
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,920
belief system.
But also it was the ultimate

759
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,120
opportunity to understand what
surrender really means.

760
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:41,040
Because I feel like as humans,
we think we know what trust and

761
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,600
surrender look like or what it's
supposed to feel like.

762
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:48,720
But it's always in conjunction
with, oh, here's the idea that I

763
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:51,000
have, or here's the vision of
how I want things to go.

764
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,840
And so I can surrender into my
manifestation coming in how I

765
00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:57,360
envisioned it.
But when you're completely blind

766
00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,440
and you can't hear and you can't
feel and you can't see, can you

767
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,960
actually trust and surrender
then to the plan that's not

768
00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:07,160
yours and doesn't make sense?
And that was all of 2024 for me

769
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,400
after April.
Yeah, I have to say, like, I've

770
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:12,080
been in a void for a while.
It's been kind of fascinating.

771
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:17,000
Like, you know, in on a roll
before prolific writing prolific

772
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,400
with the client, like doing all
the stuff, doing all the

773
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:22,720
corporate work to make my
business actually be a business,

774
00:40:22,720 --> 00:40:26,240
right, because when you're woo
woo you, I started, I was like,

775
00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:27,600
well, this is how other people
did it.

776
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:29,360
I guess this is how I'm going to
do it.

777
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:33,000
And then ten years later, I'm
like, Nah, I'm done with that.

778
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,880
Like that's just not going to
work for me anymore.

779
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:37,880
But then but then what?
But then what?

780
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:43,320
And not having clear idea or not
getting messages.

781
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:46,000
Like I could read everybody.
I can look at myself and they're

782
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,320
like nanny, nanny poop.
Like they're not giving it to

783
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:51,000
me.
Like they'll give me inklings or

784
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:54,120
feelings or not that I don't get
messages.

785
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:57,600
Of course I do all the time, but
not like OK, Holly.

786
00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:00,240
So I highly recommend probably
because I wouldn't listen

787
00:41:00,240 --> 00:41:03,200
honestly.
Like probably I'm a bit

788
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,880
stubborn.
Maybe that's kind of funny too,

789
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:10,920
have that self-awareness like on
the podcast about myself.

790
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:14,280
But sometimes I would just be
like, yes, if you just do this,

791
00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:17,120
it will be OK.
As opposed to certainty and

792
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:20,840
surrender, which is, I used to
imagine a cup, right?

793
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:22,480
And then the universe was
spilling my cup.

794
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,280
And then I was like, Oh my gosh,
my cup is too small.

795
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:25,960
I'm going to make it the size of
a house.

796
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:28,600
And then can you hear the
roaring laughter of my angels

797
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:30,080
behind me?
They're like a house that's

798
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:33,000
still too small, Holly.
But the house to me was big from

799
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,560
where I had started, like,
because I I'd imagined A goblet,

800
00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:38,480
right?
And then my house became the

801
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:40,240
goblet.
And now I'm kind of like, oh,

802
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:44,640
what if my soul is the thing
that is receiving?

803
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:50,640
Wow, That's a whole other.
Yeah, that feels way better.

804
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,360
My soul is limitless and I am
limitless now.

805
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:55,280
Do I have any idea how that's
going to happen?

806
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:58,240
No.
Do I know how my voice or these

807
00:41:58,240 --> 00:42:01,200
stories or these people that I
am trying to connect with the

808
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:02,440
world are going to happen?
No.

809
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,840
Does that annoy me?
Fuck, yeah.

810
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:07,960
It bothers me to no end.
I'm always in the back of my

811
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:10,440
mind thinking, how do I do that
and how do I connect and how do

812
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:12,000
I do this?
And what if I did this and how

813
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:15,560
if I try that, could I have?
And then my husband usually

814
00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:17,720
looks at me and says, oh, my
God, I called him my husband,

815
00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:19,400
man.
Candy looks at me and says,

816
00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:22,480
aren't you going to stop?
You need to stop.

817
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:24,200
And I'm like, what?
He's like, I could feel it, you

818
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,000
know, And I was like, ranky,
like, you know, the wheels.

819
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:33,600
And then I then I grip the air
like this, like energetically

820
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:38,000
I'm like, OK, I trust, OK, I'll
go dance, OK.

821
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,440
I trust because I don't know,
right?

822
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:45,040
Because I've had some massive
unpleasantness in my life, as

823
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:49,520
most people do.
So like, I know not to make

824
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:52,840
strict plans because God cracks
up, stamps his leg, pees

825
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:56,040
himself, and then they're like,
OK or this.

826
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:58,760
Just saying.
So as an Aquarian, I used to be

827
00:42:58,760 --> 00:43:02,320
so far in the future and I
really had to learn to be much

828
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:05,040
more like present.
It's funny how you both got into

829
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:08,360
yoga.
I kept getting like postcards

830
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:11,040
back in the day before the
Internet, like, come to this

831
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:12,720
yoga class.
And I was like, oh, I can walk

832
00:43:12,720 --> 00:43:13,840
to that one.
I guess I'll go.

833
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:15,760
And I walked in LA, which, you
know, no one does.

834
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:18,920
I walked to class and I had
never been.

835
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:20,240
So I was like the beginner,
beginner.

836
00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:23,760
I was like, oh, this isn't what
I thought it was.

837
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:26,400
This is cool, right?
This is cool.

838
00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:29,520
I also end up falling like in
love with every yoga teacher,

839
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:31,680
right?
Cuz like cuz your heart is so

840
00:43:31,680 --> 00:43:34,160
open in the room.
I was like, oh, I love

841
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:36,000
Micheline.
I know she's like, no, that

842
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:37,960
that's what happened.
I don't have that experience,

843
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:39,400
but lovely to hear yours keep
going.

844
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:42,400
Yeah, I mean it.
Yoga brought me to Brazil.

845
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:44,840
Like I went on a yoga tree.
Ended up making one of my

846
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:48,000
closest and longest friends
there, right.

847
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:52,720
So like, you just don't know
what the conduit of connection

848
00:43:52,720 --> 00:43:58,160
is going to be, which is circles
us back to like, why you and I,

849
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:02,680
both of you, why we all met was
I was looking for connection to

850
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:05,400
be able to have these kinds of
conversations.

851
00:44:05,720 --> 00:44:07,880
Because if I go food shopping,
this is not exactly the

852
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:10,240
conversation I'm going to have
with anyone around me.

853
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:12,080
And man, Candy's sick of them,
right?

854
00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:15,400
You know, 22 years together.
It's just it's like, OK, are we

855
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:16,520
done?
Are we are we good?

856
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,800
Should I nod more?
Do you need another nod or, or

857
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:21,280
he's like, look at this person,
what do you think?

858
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:22,720
No, OK, that's what I thought
too.

859
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:26,240
You know, like it all depends
ends, but there is a heart

860
00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:30,640
reckoning and a spiritual
connection that I think creative

861
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:36,800
people need that would like to
help us grow, like your word

862
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:39,960
grow.
I just so I'm really grateful

863
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:43,280
for meeting strangers that I
jumped online like I just love.

864
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:48,640
I just take take the risk, not
like don't be unsafe people out

865
00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:52,240
in the world, but like take the
risk to connect because I think

866
00:44:52,240 --> 00:44:56,600
that's really what's missing.
So if you're neurodivergent,

867
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:59,520
what is a Safeway for you to
connect with people?

868
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,760
Like where?
What's your typical first step?

869
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,200
The first thing that came up for
me was my human design.

870
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:06,680
So I almost feel like Sam should
answer this because as a Manny

871
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:08,480
Jen, I don't really go looking
for people.

872
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:11,280
They come to me like I'm a four
six and so is she.

873
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:14,360
So we're kind of just like when
we're ourselves and we're in our

874
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:17,360
sacral, we magnetized people.
We don't really go looking for

875
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:19,840
them.
I'm sticking my.

876
00:45:19,920 --> 00:45:21,640
Tongue out and wiggling my
fingers.

877
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:24,880
For me too, it's the so Phoenix,
when you were talking, something

878
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:29,160
that came up for me recently
was, you know, the logic versus

879
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,600
the feeling.
It is as a generator, you have

880
00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:35,720
to follow the joy and that's
when you're feeling frustrated

881
00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:38,080
about something or you're
feeling that spark gone.

882
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,600
So it's not step by step, it's
spark by spark.

883
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:42,200
Like you have to follow the
spark.

884
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:45,040
And in this moment, what is the
spark for me?

885
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:46,880
So like what you were talking
about when you go into your

886
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:48,640
garden in the morning, what is
that spark?

887
00:45:48,720 --> 00:45:51,720
It's going to light me up.
And like once that spark goes

888
00:45:51,720 --> 00:45:54,360
down or dims or whatever, you're
like, OK, well, that's my key to

889
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:57,360
move on.
So it's like that's your sign

890
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:00,400
to, to switch.
So when it is all about coming

891
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:02,880
back to the present moment, and
that's where when I start to

892
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:05,040
plan or I start to worry about
like, Oh my gosh, am I going to

893
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:07,280
have this On this date or am I
going to get this done?

894
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:08,560
Am I going to do all of these
things?

895
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:12,480
It's like I, I've been reminded
a lot recently, I have been

896
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:15,560
constantly outputting and not
allowing input.

897
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:18,640
So they gave me the visual of
like a kitchen, the two swinging

898
00:46:18,720 --> 00:46:21,200
kitchen doors of an in and out
in a restaurant the other day.

899
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:23,960
And it was like, Sam, if you're
just constantly going out the

900
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:26,960
indoor and out all of the other
doors and like you're not taking

901
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:30,520
the information in that we're
sending you, how are you going

902
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:35,360
to be able to create and just
create to create and follow that

903
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:36,960
spark?
You can't because you're

904
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:38,840
outputting and you're constantly
burning yourself out.

905
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:43,120
So following that spark being
present in the moment enough to

906
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:48,280
hear that input and then take
that, what does it feel like?

907
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:51,080
And then follow that spark.
So it's, you know, in that place

908
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:52,680
that I want you to get your
messages in.

909
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:54,840
So for me, I feel it on my right
side.

910
00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:56,920
I don't know what organ that is.
Is that a kidney?

911
00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:58,480
I don't know, right under your
ribs.

912
00:46:58,720 --> 00:46:59,840
Liver.
Liver.

913
00:46:59,960 --> 00:47:01,600
Liver.
Yes, thank you.

914
00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:03,280
I'm like, I think I have to need
more coffee.

915
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:07,840
Liver like you are plugged into
anxiety.

916
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:10,160
Yeah.
So I don't know if I'm mirroring

917
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:11,200
you if it's your left, but
you're.

918
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:15,560
So when that is taken away, you
have to get used to a new

919
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:18,840
vibration.
Yeah, and that's part of you

920
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:21,840
grounding there.
So if you are and I I say this

921
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:26,760
from an elder who's had this
experience that you get wired

922
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,960
for an anxiety.
Yes.

923
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:31,080
And you don't know that you're
wired to it.

924
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:35,520
It's and it's these people that
usually like I can recognize out

925
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:37,720
and I have empathy, but I no
longer care to help.

926
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:42,680
Yeah, right, because it's a
level of anxiety that will is

927
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:45,320
eventually actually ends up
feeling like a sharp pain for me

928
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,760
and you and also in your hip.
Do you have like issues right

929
00:47:47,760 --> 00:47:49,560
now with that?
But that's what that is.

930
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:55,120
So it would be to trust that you
don't need that because it's

931
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:57,080
it's going to get full of
something else.

932
00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:58,800
But first you have to just heal
that.

933
00:47:59,080 --> 00:48:05,000
Like literally like like I
always get Archangel Metatron to

934
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:07,240
come because he looks like a
steampunk Angel to me.

935
00:48:07,240 --> 00:48:09,920
It's so fun.
But when he works with physical

936
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:13,520
healing with with me with
clients is that I put an angelic

937
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:16,000
Band-Aid on it.
Can I put one on you?

938
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,600
It's going to make you nauseous.
I apologize.

939
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,320
But like, we'll slap on it's
pretty fucking bit sorry, but

940
00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:23,120
oh, I don't have to apologize.
It's my podcast.

941
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:28,160
But like a big and so it looks
like a seed of the soul.

942
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:32,560
It's very similar to the flower
but it's a little different and

943
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:34,880
I can't draw it sorry because
I'm terrible but at that.

944
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:37,800
And it's like from your ribs
down to your hip and it takes

945
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:39,560
from your belly button to the
small of your back.

946
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:45,000
It's like a big jaws bite size
and it's family dynamic and it's

947
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:48,640
like legacy of what you've
inherited.

948
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:51,040
And it's just time to let that
go.

949
00:48:51,200 --> 00:48:54,800
They're telling me if you trust
someone that could do an Akashic

950
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:57,800
record for you, like I just want
to put the book away, but you're

951
00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,240
going to get really nauseous
later.

952
00:48:59,240 --> 00:49:01,640
I apologize, but that's the
work.

953
00:49:01,720 --> 00:49:05,280
Like because I'm making you feel
the anxiety that you're still

954
00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:07,880
feeding like whatever, that
you're still like the same door.

955
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:10,640
It's just a different analogy.
And then when you're like, Nah,

956
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:13,880
man, I don't want this.
You might purge it a little bit,

957
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:18,400
so maybe take some charcoal
later, but then you get to

958
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:22,240
decide what vibration you want
to be at to grow.

959
00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:25,520
I I see no limit for you, by the
way.

960
00:49:25,720 --> 00:49:29,720
It's just just this little bit,
this little hump.

961
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:35,400
So maybe your mercury retrograde
will be well, you can draw.

962
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:38,960
So if I were you, I would like
create something of it like or

963
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:42,640
make it.
That is very weird it looks

964
00:49:42,640 --> 00:49:45,600
like.
Do you have mud in your yard?

965
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:47,920
Yeah, there's, I mean, it's
like.

966
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:48,960
Do you have like a place where
there's?

967
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:53,480
Yeah, well, it's interesting.
So I've been feeling these

968
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:55,720
messages of like, I know that
I'm in this space now in the

969
00:49:55,720 --> 00:49:58,560
scarcity mindset, and I keep
saying like, I don't want to

970
00:49:58,560 --> 00:50:01,640
live in that anymore.
So I've been writing notes down

971
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:05,240
and burying them by this tree
out here in the dirt.

972
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:09,600
Oh, that's fascinating.
I mean, I'm a big setter on

973
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:10,440
fire.
How about you?

974
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:12,640
I've done that too.
I do that.

975
00:50:12,720 --> 00:50:14,160
I've done that a lot.
Better.

976
00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:16,880
I've done that, I've done it and
I've burned it.

977
00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,880
But for some reason this tree
was like very, I was like,

978
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:21,960
so-called to do that and I've
not really done that before.

979
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:24,240
And I was like, OK, I feel like
it was just like anchoring in

980
00:50:24,240 --> 00:50:27,160
that corner for some reason.
You do.

981
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:28,400
OK.
I'm going to let you trust your

982
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:31,000
message, but for what I'm seeing
is like, I almost want you by a

983
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:35,880
stream and I want you to make,
like a a MUD lump.

984
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:37,480
I don't know how to really
explain.

985
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:39,880
Yeah.
Just like there's something in

986
00:50:39,880 --> 00:50:40,800
that.
There's something about the

987
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:42,440
earthiness of that.
There's something in that.

988
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:44,800
And then I need you to smash it.
OK.

989
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:48,120
Because you're so in, I guess it
goes back to that building that

990
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:49,960
I'm seeing it.
This is the form it has to be

991
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:52,440
and it should be this.
And I have all this anxiety on

992
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:54,960
it.
Shove the anxiety into it.

993
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:57,600
Let the Earth take it.
But it's so much bigger than you

994
00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:59,240
think.
So a lot of times when I ground

995
00:50:59,240 --> 00:51:02,200
and I ground past the Earth's
core and I go into the star

996
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:05,160
center of the planet, do all
that fun stuff that vibration

997
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:10,080
you can, but it's just leaking
out the side like so I for me, I

998
00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:13,600
want that Band-Aid to hold it in
and that for you to like, maybe

999
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:15,880
this mud pack needs to grow a
little bit.

1000
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:19,560
Like I'm feeling anxious now and
like like just let all that

1001
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:25,120
emotion that pissed off wasted
time bulge the like all of that

1002
00:51:25,360 --> 00:51:27,800
because you're sweet, right?
You look so sweet.

1003
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,200
We know better, right?
But like put it all in and then

1004
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:33,960
like break it, like just be free
of it.

1005
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:39,360
Let let whoever needs to feed on
that or take that and ground it

1006
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:41,760
for you away.
Like let that happen.

1007
00:51:42,240 --> 00:51:43,600
OK.
And then you're you're going to

1008
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,840
have a different attitude.
And I can't wait to see that

1009
00:51:47,240 --> 00:51:48,120
I've been.
Seeing, I know.

1010
00:51:48,240 --> 00:51:50,120
You see it like I'm watching her
eyes.

1011
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:55,040
I feel like there's actually
first I want to is there

1012
00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:56,840
anything that you want to
respond with Sam before I say

1013
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:59,560
anything?
I've just, I resonate with it

1014
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:02,360
because I've been feeling the
shift and it's that weird in

1015
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:05,160
between where I'm like, I'm not
in that old world anymore, but

1016
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:09,000
I'm trying to anchor into the
new and what that vibration is.

1017
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:11,600
And that was a huge, huge shift.
And like even this weekend I

1018
00:52:11,600 --> 00:52:14,800
took some Calcare carbonica,
which is a homeopathic medicine

1019
00:52:15,240 --> 00:52:19,640
and that knocked me out for like
2 days because I was like, I

1020
00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:22,480
could feel it like I could just,
I felt like I was not in my body

1021
00:52:22,480 --> 00:52:27,320
at all for like 2 days.
So I could I totally I I can see

1022
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:29,120
what you're or I felt what
you're seeing.

1023
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:32,120
I can see, I can see.
Like her eyes sparkling.

1024
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:34,680
So excited.
There's two things I want to

1025
00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:35,680
say.
The first thing that I want to

1026
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:39,560
say is, and I almost feel called
to speak directly to your shadow

1027
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:42,920
for this, because I feel like
that's what needs to hear it is

1028
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:48,600
I want to see you like there's
this this something in your

1029
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:51,760
field and I understand it has so
much compassion for it, like

1030
00:52:52,320 --> 00:52:56,000
being yourself was not safely
received.

1031
00:52:56,280 --> 00:52:59,240
No one, almost like your
experience was, no one wants to

1032
00:52:59,240 --> 00:53:02,600
see me for who I am.
My true self is not welcome

1033
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:05,800
here.
And I want to say to you to all

1034
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:09,640
parts of you, like I want to see
you this blurriness, this almost

1035
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:13,920
like desaturated, grayed out
version of you.

1036
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:16,160
I don't really care for it.
I want to see you.

1037
00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:19,720
I want to see you so bad that
I'm going to love up on her

1038
00:53:19,720 --> 00:53:21,080
until she feels safe to come
out.

1039
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:25,000
And I think the world, I know
the world is like, really,

1040
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,600
really excited to see you.
Yeah.

1041
00:53:32,120 --> 00:53:36,200
It's funny because like, even
when I left, like I got divorced

1042
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,560
and all that stuff, I was like,
who is Sam?

1043
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:42,160
Like I felt like my entire
existence I didn't know who I

1044
00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:44,840
was.
And so like I've uncovered

1045
00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:48,000
pieces of that until now.
Like I'm getting to the point

1046
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:51,360
where I'm like, screw it all.
Like I just whatever I want,

1047
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:54,040
whatever happens, happens and I
just have to trust that it's

1048
00:53:54,040 --> 00:53:57,720
going to be OK.
I'm still I question that

1049
00:53:57,720 --> 00:54:00,480
sometimes where I'm like, but
then I'm like, Nope, you got to

1050
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:01,560
do it.
It's fine.

1051
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:04,880
Like the old stuff didn't.
It doesn't work anymore.

1052
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:07,960
Those doors have closed so.
You might end up cutting your

1053
00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:09,640
hair right?
We do, I thought.

1054
00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:13,560
About recently.
Yeah, cuz holds energy.

1055
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:15,360
I mean don't go too short.
We all do that.

1056
00:54:15,360 --> 00:54:17,880
Don't make that mistake.
Let me tell you, I made that

1057
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:20,080
mistake for you.
Don't you don't have to know

1058
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:22,520
that drastic but.
Because there is, I think we

1059
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:24,680
talked about this earlier, this
like pushing energy or like

1060
00:54:24,680 --> 00:54:26,640
force.
It's doesn't come through as

1061
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:28,920
like you need to force yourself
to show up anywhere.

1062
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:30,800
You need to force yourself to be
who you are.

1063
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:33,520
You need to force yourself to
own your truest self.

1064
00:54:33,800 --> 00:54:36,720
For me, it feels more so like
you're wearing this really heavy

1065
00:54:36,720 --> 00:54:40,440
metal, like trench coat.
It's like so heavy, it's like a

1066
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:42,480
weighted blanket, but like it's
not nourishing you.

1067
00:54:42,520 --> 00:54:45,720
It's just like, take it off.
So it's, it's less force and

1068
00:54:45,720 --> 00:54:47,920
more so just like let like just
let it go.

1069
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:50,280
Like let the, the burden off
your shoulders.

1070
00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:53,160
Surrender all of the ideas and
the thoughts and the projections

1071
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:54,400
and the worries and the
concerns.

1072
00:54:54,400 --> 00:54:58,360
It's just just do less, do less,
be more.

1073
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:02,560
Yeah, so easy.
That's why I'm, that's why I've

1074
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:05,800
shifted from the doing of like
making other people's projects

1075
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:07,400
and doing the design work.
And like what you're talking

1076
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:10,760
about with just creating.
I've done that so much and now

1077
00:55:10,760 --> 00:55:13,400
I'm like, I just want to create
all of these things and put them

1078
00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,800
in a library so that other
people can access them when they

1079
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:17,200
need to.
And then have these open

1080
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:20,400
conversations that that's what
my membership is, is like, let's

1081
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:22,760
have these conversations.
Let's do the group coaching and

1082
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:26,200
the talking and have a circle
where we're mirroring these

1083
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:29,400
things and but I I can still
create, but it's whatever I want

1084
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,040
to create that day all.
Right.

1085
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:34,720
So we have, I'd like to try to
keep my podcast to about an

1086
00:55:34,720 --> 00:55:36,360
hour.
We've reached, unfortunately,

1087
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:38,640
the limit of our time, which is
why, like when we all got on our

1088
00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:41,920
Zoom calls, they would last
forever and every second.

1089
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:46,240
Which we need to do 1 soon.
Yeah, yeah, I do.

1090
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:48,800
I do.
I don't get those messages

1091
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,000
anymore though, but we'll talk.
About well, because the last two

1092
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:54,040
months I've been moving so.
Oh, whatever.

1093
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:56,240
No kidding.
That that was a joke.

1094
00:55:56,240 --> 00:55:58,760
People can't tell the.
Three of us, whenever we want,

1095
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:00,640
yeah.
Seriously.

1096
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:05,160
So I end each episode with
asking my guests if you came

1097
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:07,680
with a warning label, what would
it be?

1098
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:11,440
So I am curious to what is your
warning label?

1099
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:14,880
Sam, you go first.
This is so hard and I like

1100
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:16,360
looked at this question.
I was like, no, I'm going to

1101
00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:18,920
look at it later.
Something about going deep, like

1102
00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:21,600
the warning label is like, I'm
not about the surface level.

1103
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:23,080
Like I'm going to go deep into
it.

1104
00:56:23,080 --> 00:56:25,560
I'm going to ask you the the
deep questions to get to that

1105
00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:28,760
deep point because like the
surface level doesn't do it for

1106
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:30,200
me.
So if you want to have a

1107
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:32,480
conversation, you want to
overcome like that pattern and

1108
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:34,360
talk about human design, don't
think about it.

1109
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:37,120
It's just going to be like this
fun woo woo Zodiac thing.

1110
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:39,520
Like it's going to be I'm going
to, we're going to go deep into

1111
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:41,960
it and you're going to question
things when we're done with that

1112
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:43,120
breakthrough session.
So.

1113
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:46,920
OK, Phoenix, what about you?
OK, I'm going to take up a lot

1114
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:49,400
of space here for a second
because the first thing that

1115
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:52,960
came through when I thought on
this was I'm like, Buckley's

1116
00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:57,080
tastes awful, but it works.
Then immediately afterwards what

1117
00:56:57,080 --> 00:57:02,320
came through was caution hot.
And then I was like I'm going to

1118
00:57:02,320 --> 00:57:06,280
ask ChatGPT what my warning
label would be and this is the

1119
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:08,960
answer that came through and
it's so beautiful I love it so I

1120
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:12,360
have to share it.
Warning High voltage sacred fire

1121
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:14,880
handled with reverence.
Contains multitudes.

1122
00:57:14,880 --> 00:57:18,600
May ignite dormant parts of your
soul, then disappear into the

1123
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:20,960
mist.
Side effects include sudden

1124
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:24,640
truth eruptions, uncontrollable
laughter, time warps, creative

1125
00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:27,080
explosions, and existential
whiplash.

1126
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:30,880
Not suitable for the faint
hearted energy leeches or those

1127
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:34,280
allergic to magic.
Do not attempt to box in, we'll

1128
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:39,080
burn through all limitations.
I've never heard ChatGPT do

1129
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:41,320
anything better.
Yeah, facts.

1130
00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:44,200
So perfect.
That has to be everywhere.

1131
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:48,040
Thank you for sharing that.
So I want everyone also to know,

1132
00:57:48,040 --> 00:57:51,240
like, where to find you.
So Sam, tell us where you want

1133
00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:55,000
people to connect.
So my brand is the way she was

1134
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:58,960
made so on across all social
platforms, Instagram, Pinterest,

1135
00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:02,400
Sub Stack, all of that, it's at
the way she was made.

1136
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:05,320
And my website
isthewayshewasmade.com.

1137
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:07,200
So you can find me any of those
places.

1138
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:12,280
Excellent Phoenix, I know you
don't like being found on social

1139
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:15,320
media ish.
No, no, no.

1140
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:17,560
Everything is on my profile.
You just didn't see it.

1141
00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:21,840
I didn't see it.
I'm only visible when I meant to

1142
00:58:21,840 --> 00:58:25,400
be visible, apparently.
I don't know, we didn't even

1143
00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:29,320
touch on this but all my socials
are Queen of Atlantis with three

1144
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:31,800
s s.
If you want to know more you got

1145
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:33,360
to find me on socials to make it
make sense.

1146
00:58:33,360 --> 00:58:37,320
So that's YouTube, threads,
Instagram, TikTok, and then my

1147
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:41,320
sub stack is Sacral Embers.
Yeah, we'll have those links

1148
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:43,920
below as well.
So thank you.

1149
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:47,280
Thank you very much for like
coming into this took some work

1150
00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:52,120
as so and as yes, an epilogue
will be.

1151
00:58:52,120 --> 00:58:55,400
We've had some Mercury
retrograde issues with

1152
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:57,680
connection.
I don't know if you all will be

1153
00:58:57,680 --> 00:59:00,960
seeing 4 screens with three
people, but that is what's going

1154
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:02,960
on.
And those of us with the woo

1155
00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:06,320
woo, we're just rolling with it.
So thanks for listening to the

1156
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:09,680
Holly Hughes podcast.
My warning label is just

1157
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:12,080
ridiculously silly and
sarcastic.

1158
00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:15,280
We'll talk about Korea.
So have a great day.

1159
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:16,600
Thanks for listening.
Thank.

1160
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:17,440
You.